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For the first time in my son’s life, Truman and I did something together for and with him. It should have always been like this, but now’s not the time for regrets. It’s time to look ahead and dream about what the three of us can do together.
As much as I’m looking forward to getting away with Dani and lounging on the beach, part of me wants to stay here with Ryle. And Truman. Doing other things that families do together.
22
Truman
“Why did Mom have to go to Florida?”
Ryle spent last night at my place. I cleared it with Julie, though honestly, that was a little weird. We keep saying we’re going to take things slowly, but in reality, things are moving faster. Shopping with her and Ryle the other night was awesome. I’m painfully aware that most guys my age might roll their eyes at me as they head out for a night at the club. But I don’t care. Holding hands with Jules at Ryle’s ballgame—not pulling away when someone noticed—made me feel ten feet tall. Julie’s letting people see that she’s mine. That we belong together.
So, yeah, after all of that, it felt weird to ask her again if it’s okay if Ryle’s with me when she’s gone. I think she thought so, too. It’s not like I’m going to demand that he stay with me the entire time she’s gone. I know he’s excited about spending time at Harper’s, so he and Ethan can hang out. Yes, my six-year-old informed me they don’t play; they hang out.
“She didn’t have to,” I answer.
Ryle scoops a bite of cereal, but he keeps his eyes on me. I offered to make him pancakes and bacon, but he asked for Kix cereal. And then rattled off the lines from the commercial, promising me that Julie wouldn’t care if he ate it.
“But you have to? When you leave, you have to go?” He finally puts the spoon in his mouth. His words leave me rattled, like a sucker punch. “For work?”
“Well, yeah, but I haven’t been doing as much of that,” I remind him. I don’t want a pat on the back. That’s not why I’ve tried to slow down my traveling, but I hope Ryle at least realizes I’ve been home a lot more often lately.
“I know.” He nods as he chews. “I like when you’re here.”
Our eyes lock for a second, and I feel a little thrill roll through me. I take a bite of my cereal and wonder why he chose Kix. I mean, if I were a kid and my mom was gone for a few days, I’d ask for all the sugary stuff she never lets me have.
“So, why did Mom go?”
“Do you miss her?”
Is he going to have a meltdown after only one night of Julie being gone? She and Dani left for the airport yesterday afternoon. I picked Ryle up at her place, so I saw her smother him with goofy smiles and kisses. Ryle hugged her and clung hard to her—they’re not apart very often. But he didn’t seem upset when she left. And I thought we did okay last night. We grilled chicken; I let him help me flip it once, so he felt like he contributed. We ate at the kitchen island, debating the best superhero for dinner conversation. I say Iron Man, but Ryle likes the Hulk. He also informed me that Julie likes Thor—big surprise, right?
After dinner, we watched SpiderMan. And then we read a Scooby Doo book—I read most of it, but Ryle read a few paragraphs to me.
Ryle shrugs in answer to my question. “Kinda. But you let me stay up later than she does.”
I laugh, relieved he didn’t say he misses her and that he’s miserable and wants to go home.
“Mom went to hang out on the beach with Dani.”
“Mom says Dani’s going to have a baby.”
“She is,” I answer with a nod. We’re both still eating; Ryle slurps his spoonfuls, and somehow he’s got a milk mustache now. Not sure how he managed that; he’s drinking orange juice. “That’s why they went.”
“She’s gonna have the baby there?” He screws his face up into a frown, and I remind myself I’m talking to a six-year-old. I need to be more direct when I talk.
“No. But when Dani does have her baby, she’ll be tired. Babies don’t sleep a lot. Or as well as we do. They wake up in the night and cry.”
“Cuz they poop their diapers.”
I stare at my son for a moment and try not to laugh.
“Well, yeah, they do. And they get hungry. So Dani will be up with her baby a lot. She wanted to relax on the beach.”
“Is Mom having a baby, too?” Ryle tips his head. “Is that why she went?”
This time, Ryle’s words are a knife in my heart. Because I missed it the first time Julie was pregnant. I missed feeling Ryle move in her belly. Missed any crazy cravings she might have had. Missed watching her deliver my baby into this world. I hope she’ll be pregnant again one day soon. With my baby. But I can’t say that to Ryle.
“No. She’s just going for some relaxation. Mom works hard. She gets a break, too.”
