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I don’t dare glance down at her doe eyes. One glimpse and I know I will agree to anything she wants. I’ve never been able to say no to Adrienne, yet my head sounds the warning bells.
What we have is perfect—nearly. She’s about to ask me on a date. A real honest to God, holding hands, completing each other’s sentences, sharing inside jokes, and smiling at each other like goofy teens date.
I’m an idiot.
We already have all of this.
A date means taking everything we have and turbocharging it to a thousand—mixing in a boatload of emotions and adding in sex. Lots and lots of sex. Just the thought causes my heart to pound against my rib cage.
Have I thought about having sex with my best friend? Of course I have. Especially on those cold, dark winter nights in the dorm when I was two thousand miles away. But it’s always just been a dream, one that disappeared with the harsh reality of the morning sun.
Adrienne twists against my hand. I’ve been quiet too long. “Like an actual date?” The perplexing question slips across my dry lips, the thumping in my chest putting me on alert. Is this happening? Are we about to risk everything we have for a shot at the brass ring?
Her cute scoff is like a smack across my forehead—duh, dude. She lays her palm across my stomach, the same location where her lips were seconds ago. Lips that nearly caused me to lose all semblance of control. Lips I’ve only tasted once before. “That is unless you have a secret girlfriend or something?” Her body relaxes as her cheek returns to my chest. Why isn’t she freaking out about this? This will change everything.
I clear my throat. “You know I don’t. I don’t do girlfriends in another state.” My gaze rises to stare at the inside roof of the tent, searching for the courage to say the words I’ve always known I would share with her after five years away. “I never saw the point when I knew I was returning home.” I trip up to the line, stopping from sharing it all—I was always going to return home to you.
She nods as if my confession doesn’t connect the dots for her. As if the rule I wrote for myself hasn’t always been about her. I make the mistake of looking at her at the same moment she twists up to do the same. This close, our gazes connect, and her wide, this world is mine stare reminds me why I will always need to be in her life. Once you enter Adrienne’s orbit, there is no other place in the world you’d want to be.
I’ve dreamed of kissing Adrienne for five long years. Years I needed to be away. Years I needed to get out in the world, get some perspective. All it did was confirm what my twelve-year-old self already knew. There’s no place in the world like being in the arms of Adrienne March. There is no greater love than what I have with her.
My heart races faster than it’s ever beat. When we kissed six years ago, it wasn’t the right time. We were both set to head off in different directions in life. I had secured a scholarship that was going to take me two thousand miles away. My parents gifted me the college money they had saved and pushed me to take a year off and travel. I only agreed after they consented to keep two thirds of the funds for their retirement accounts. Six months with relatives in Jamaica to connect to my family roots, then six months traveling the world—Europe, Asia, and Africa.
It wasn’t the right time for us. Adrienne needed to experience the world unencumbered. Not with a boyfriend on the other side of the world. I didn’t want to be responsible for her missing any element college life would offer. The last thing she needed to be doing was pine for a boyfriend on the other side of the world.
But that’s behind us now.
It’s the reason I never wanted to find a girlfriend in college. No other girl could compare. I had my hookups and a few girls that had similar outlooks—no entanglements. But I knew going in that it would be impossible for another woman to steal my heart the way Adrienne had. And I was right.
Coming home, I expected to ease into this conversation, not have it within the first minutes of reconnecting. Yet, it shouldn’t surprise me. She has always moved to her own unique beat. And she’s drumming loud.
It’s our time.
I exhale and nod at her. I’m ready.
I stare at the beauty in front of me—button nose, long hair, thick brows, sharp, pointed chin. The faded scar on her neck below her jaw from when we tumbled off a boulder we had no business climbing when we were fourteen. My finger circles her knee, the scars from a dozen bike falls long gone. Her body is a map of our past, all that we’ve experienced, all we are. We’ve always been together, and together we are about to take the next step on our journey.
I feel the emotions building in my chest and take a gulp, ready for our future. The corner of her adorable mouth crinkles into a smart smirk. “I can see the two of you together.”
Wait—what?
“Wait—what?” I utter, confused. “Two of who?”
“You and my friend Jasmine.” Her shoulders stiffen, and her eyes tighten in concentration. “She knew we were seeing each other tonight and asked me to be her wingwoman—just like we did for each other back in high school.”
My eyes flutter in confusion, as if a fistful of sand has been tossed in my face. “Jasmine?” I recall her old college classmate. We’ve met a handful of times, but not one of them stands out in my mind. “The date is with your friend?” My mind remains disoriented, unable to comprehend what is going on.
“Of course—you didn’t…”
I jab a finger into her side to stop the words. Words I know I won’t be able to unhear. Words my stupid heart can’t take. I roll on top of her, my hands reaching for her wrists to prevent her from retaliating.
Like we’ve done a hundred times, I lift her hands above her head and pin them to the hard ground. My knees straddle her slight frame, and I bend at my waist, our noses inches apart. I pick up the scents of lilacs and rosebuds, the fragrances from the flower shop always on her skin.
“No fair. You have a fifty-pound advantage on me.” She giggles, squirming beneath me. She lifts her hip up, attempting to escape, her core pushing against my groin. The reaction is immediate. If she continues to move like this, I will no longer be responsible for what I’ll do. I press down into her hips, holding her in place. Two futile pulls on her wrists and she realizes it’s pointless.
She stops resisting beneath me. Heated breaths from our mini wrestling match escape her parted lips, drawing my attention. I’m unable to look away. Soft, pink lips the color of a beautiful summer sunset entice me. It would be so easy to lean forward and claim what I want. But not like this. Not after what she’s just asked of me.
She bats her long lashes up at me with a what you going to do now, Lucas? look. I’ve always known what Adrienne has wanted in life, yet for the first time, I don’t trust my read. While her gaze, those lips, her body are all screaming the same thing to me—kiss me, you fool—her words still hang heavy in the air above me.
