I mean, sure, I’m not skydiving any time soon… And my nerves start to short-circuit at the thought of dancing on tables… But that doesn’t mean I’m not a fun person to be around.
Right?
Right!?
I think about my closest friend, Leila. What would she say about this?
Before I know what I'm doing, I've dialed her number. Her chirpy voice fills the car.
“How did it go?”
I grit my teeth. Why did I have to go and open my big mouth this morning to tell her I think Todd’s going to propose?
“Um. Todd and I decided to go our separate ways.” I try to keep my voice level, but my tone is way too formal to come off as convincing.
There’s silence and a few heavy breaths as Leila processes the news.
“So… You’re not engaged?” she asks carefully.
I clutch my shake and bite my lip. There’s a pressure spreading across my chest.
Hearing Leila say it makes it all feel more real.
“No.” My voice is firm. Too firm. I clear my throat and force my fingers to relax. “No,” I say, softer now. “We just realized we’re too different.”
Leila hums and it comes out like a rumble all around me. “I’m coming over.”
I hitch a breath and squeak. “No! I’m not home.”
Leila has these big doe eyes that tear up when she’s disappointed, and I just know she’s going to give me that look every time she asks me if I’m okay—which she’ll probably do every sixty seconds. I can’t cope with that right now.
My head feels like a beehive.
Maybe Todd has a point.
Up until now, I’ve planned out my entire life. So much for that, because look where it’s gotten me. Alone in a Wendy’s parking lot, talking to my friend who used to look up to me. Leila is the hot mess. Not me. Now my hot mess friend is pitying me.
This is a fate worse than death.
“Well, I’ll come over tomorrow. You don’t work on the weekend, right?”
“Haven’t you got that dog walking job this weekend?” I shoot back. Leila’s derisive laugh almost makes me smile. I love the sound of her giggles.
“Um. Let’s just say Doggy Walkies and I came to a mutual agreement to go our separate ways.”
I know what she means. She got fired. Again.
“Ah. I’m sorry,” I say through a breath. “How about you come over in the morning? I'll make blueberry pancakes.”
“Sounds like a date!” She sounds delighted and I’m extremely relieved that I can’t sense any pity in her tone.
“Hey, before you go…” I scratch an invisible itch on my arm. “Am I fun? Tell me the truth.”
Leila lets out a hearty laugh that almost bursts my eardrums.
I slide my tongue over my front teeth, nervous at that reaction.
“Of course you are!” Leila says, still chuckling.