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Despite being one of the best family lawyers in the company, I no longer had any desire to go to battle for a client. It didn’t feel like I was making a difference anymore because one minute, I would be gushing over a brand-new baby about to be adopted by the most deserving family, and the next minute I watched as broken-hearted parents were forced to give the baby back to people who weren't capable of caring for him.
My entire career had always been this endless loop of soaring highs and horrible lows. Recently, I had been in the lowest of lows. Between incredibly selfish clients, coworkers who suddenly had it out for me because of the promotion, and the minimal desire to do my job, I was just done.
But how could that be? I had the dream job. I was moving up faster than anyone in my graduating class, and I was working in the specialization I cared the most about. When did my goals and achievements suddenly stop being what I wanted for myself?
I sat there contemplating my life and realized the last time I was genuinely happy was the last summer I spent with my grandparents before they died. I was eighteen, about to go to college, and I knew, deep down, it was the last time I was going to be there with them. At the time, I thought it was because I was going to school, but they died three months after I started my first semester at NYU, and I couldn’t bring myself to go back after the funeral.
My grandmother went first and very suddenly. My grandfather followed her a month afterward from what they call “broken heart syndrome”. I like to think he couldn't continue living without my grandmother, so instead of mourning her for the rest of his life, he joined her.
They left the house to me because they knew how much it meant to me, and it also came with a decent inheritance since I was their only grandchild. My parents and I hired a company to help take care of the house while I was in school, making sure it didn’t fall into disrepair, and because of that, I’ve got a place to live when I get to North Carolina.
So, after having had the epiphany of a lifetime, in the middle of my office alone, I realized I no longer wanted the illustrious career of a high-profile city attorney. It wasn't my dream anymore, and while I had no idea what would be waiting for me, I knew I needed to go back to the only place I could always count on in order to figure out my next step.
The dinner when I told my assistant and best friend, Hailey, I was quitting the firm and moving to North Carolina will be a night I remember for a long time. I'd made reservations at Frank's Steak House, which was our favorite restaurant to go to after a win in court. I had arrived before Hailey and ordered our usual?two glasses of pinot grigio and an appetizer of bruschetta.
I lookup after chastising myself for the third time to wait and not eat the food in front of me when I see her breeze in with the elegance and grace of a model walking on a catwalk.
Hailey’s blonde hair is swept back in a low bun, and she has killer blue eyes that are the envy of many because they look like sea glass. Her sharp features make her seem intimidating, but in reality, she's the furthest thing from it.
She sits down, immediately taking a drink from her wine glass, and says, "Hey girl, I'm sorry I'm late. I got stuck talking to Peter who doesn't seem to understand that I would rather stick an ice pick in my eye than go out with him.”
"He can't take a hint, can he?"
"Of course not. What woman in their right mind would say no to Peter the douche?" she says with the most disdainful look I've ever seen from her.
"He gives me the skeeves."
"Tell me about it. So, what's up? What's with the dinner? You weren't in court today, so I know we aren't celebrating."
Yikes, she's jumping right in here before we even have our main course.
I'm suddenly nervous, and my heart starts beating so hard I'm pretty sure the neighboring table can tell I'm going to have a heart attack in a minute.
Am I having a heart attack?
No. Focus. Stop being ridiculous. I should've known she'd see through the dinner ploy and know something was up. Why did I think I'd have more time to prepare before I laid everything out for her?
"Hello?” she says, waving her hand in my face. “What's happening here? Why are you sweating? I've not seen you like this since your first day in court."
That was a rough day, let me tell you. I spent thirty minutes in the courthouse bathroom throwing up my breakfast and stuttered through presenting my case. Thank god it was a straightforward win because I think I would've quit the firm that day if I'd lost.
"Right,” I clear my throat. “I'm just going to throw it out there and hope to God you don't keel over."
She looks at me like I've got two heads and nods for me to keep going.
"I am quitting the firm and have decided to move to my grandparents' house in North Carolina," I say quickly.
Hailey tilts her head and her eyebrows furrow. "You want to run that by me one more time?" she asks.
I straighten my shoulders and, after taking another drink of my wine, I say, "I am not happy anymore, Hailey. I haven't been for some time, and I've decided I need to make a change. I realized that I'm not living the life I want, so I’m going to move to my grandparents’ house in North Carolina and slow my life down for a little while."
"Holy. Shit. Seriously? Are we on Punk'd right now and someone is going to come out and say ‘Ha, you fool’ and then proceed to laugh in my face?" she asks, looking around behind me and over her shoulder, apparently hoping for a camera crew to come out.
"No, Hailey," I say, shaking my head and laughing. "You're not on Punk'd. I know it seems sudden and drastic and insane, but I've never felt more sure of a decision in my life. This is what I need."
“Honey, if you need an emotional boost, that’s totally understandable. We’ve been working non-stop for a while now, so I get it, but why don’t we just take off and go to the Hamptons for the weekend or something?”
“Because come Monday, I’d have to go back into the office and pretend like I enjoy my work. Pretend like little pieces of me aren’t dying every time I open a case file.”
