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When I woke up this morning, cuddled in Cooper’s arms, I knew things between us had shifted. This was no longer just a crush, testing the waters of our feelings. This was a real, vulnerable relationship. A connection surmounting on a whole other level than I’ve ever had with anyone else.
Throughout my life, I never allowed myself to connect with anyone. There was too much potential for loss because nothing was ever permanent. Hailey was the first person to ever break through the steely walls I’d built up, and while I am incredibly grateful for her friendship, what I’m building with Cooper has the potential to be so much bigger.
I don’t know if I’m ready for bigger. I don’t even know if I’ll be good at it. In college, I had a couple of boyfriends, but once I got into law school, I didn’t have time for relationships. I dated here and there but no one ever stuck, and I didn’t try very hard to make them stick. It was just so much easier to be my own independent person.
I didn’t have to tell anyone what my plans were. I could go out with Hailey when I wanted, or I could stay at home in my sweatpants and eat ice cream for dinner. It was the perfect setup for me. However, being in this town and surrounded by people who genuinely care about me, I’m realizing I was pretty lonely.
Imagining my life filled with Cooper and his adorable puppy brings the biggest smile to my lips. It would be a life full of color and vibrancy. One where I would no longer be lonely, and that alone is worth exploring what bigger could mean for us.
Thinking about Piper makes me remember where I am, so I walk to the back door and peek outside to see she is standing on the patio ready to come back in. “Piper girl, should we try and find some coffee and then go on a walk?” I ask her out loud. Piper barks at the word walk, so I take that to mean she is happy with the plan.
Being in Cooper’s house alone is a little strange, but as I snoop around and find what I need for coffee, I begin to get more comfortable. I also find the stuff to make peanut butter toast for breakfast, but I want to get dressed before I eat, so while my coffee is brewing, I head back upstairs.
I quickly clean up in Cooper’s beautiful stone-tiled walk-in shower and change into clean clothes. With Piper at my heels, I head back to the kitchen to gather my breakfast and walk out to the patio.
Cooper’s backyard is nicely manicured with a patio table and four chairs under a navy blue umbrella. I sit at the table while Piper runs off into the yard chasing the butterflies fluttering around the flowers planted against the privacy fence. A light breeze floats in the air as I sip my coffee and enjoy the sunshine. I’m realizing how much I’ve missed out on by not having any patio furniture in my backyard.
Thinking about my house reminds me of the mess I walked into last night. All of my thoughts have been so focused on my amazing night with Cooper that I haven’t given much thought to the break-in.
In all honesty, I haven’t wanted to give it much thought. I was so afraid yesterday, and thinking about other things kept the fear at bay but ignoring the issue will only allow it to fester, so I need to buck up and decide what to do next.
I don’t know what to do next.
Ugh, why can’t I just say,fuck you, you bastard. You don’t control me!while shaking my fist and then go home? If it were Hailey, that’s exactly what she would say. She wouldn’t allow this guy to push her out of her home, but unfortunately, I’m not as strong-willed as Hailey. This break-in has affected me profoundly, and I’m going to need more time to take back the space.
I should go back to the house and see how I feel in the light of day. Now that I’ve had time to calm down and the incident isn’t quite so fresh, I may feel differently.
With a brewing to-do list in mind, I finish my coffee and call Piper to come back inside with me. I clean up my breakfast mess in the kitchen, and Piper and I head out on a walk as I promised.
We only manage a couple of miles, and as we walk back into the house, my phone starts ringing. Looking at the screen, I see it’s Megan calling, so I quickly accept the call while taking Piper off of the leash.
“Good morning,” I answer.
“Hey, I hope I’m not calling too early. Todd told me about the break-in, so I wanted to check on you. How are you?” Megan asks.
“I am doing surprisingly well, all things considered. They didn’t steal anything and there wasn’t any damage. Things were just out of place and in super-creepy ways.”
“Oh god, I can’t even imagine how unnerving that was. Did you stay there last night? If you’re not comfortable at home, you are more than welcome to stay with us,” Megan offers.
I have no idea what to tell her. Cooper and I haven’t had a chance to discuss our relationship much ourselves, let alone discussing it with others. Do I come right out and say I stayed with Cooper? I mean, I don’t want to lie to her, and with how she and the girls reacted the other night, I think she’d be happy for us. Plus, I’m going to need some perspective on navigating this, and who better to ask than one of Cooper’s oldest friends.
“Thank you for offering, but I am staying with Cooper for a couple of days,” I say as nonchalantly as possible. I don’t want to make a big deal of it since this wouldn’t have happened in any other circumstance.
Suddenly, I hear high-pitched squealing on the other end of the phone, and I have to pull my phone away from my ear.
“Oh my god, oh my god! This is amazing!” Megan shouts. “You’re staying with Cooper? Like right now, you’re at his house? I can’t believe this. I am so excited,” she says all in a rush of words I can barely keep up with.
Chuckling, I confirm her questions which causes more squealing, making me laugh harder.
“Okay, I need details, and to get details, I’m going to need some backup,” Megan says almost to herself. “Oh, there’s a new spa over in Westlake. We could do a girls’ day tomorrow. I’m thinking manis, pedis, and maybe even a facial? We can dish on Cooper and keep you distracted from the break-in.”
“That sounds amazing and exactly what I could use right now,” I say, feeling a little overwhelmed at the realization that for the first time in my entire life, I am a part of a girl tribe. A group of women lifting each other up so each one knows they are strong and capable of getting through both the good and bad things life throws at them.
I finally have a group I can lean on when I’m struggling, and that is something to be celebrated. Even though I’m going to get interrogated about my relationship with Cooper, I am beyond excited.
“Okay, I’ll call the girls and the spa and set it up. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with the break-in, but I am so excited for you and Cooper,” Megan says.
We say our goodbyes, and I hang up the phone, placing it on the kitchen counter. Mentally running through my to-do list, I realize I’m going to have to buck up and go to my house today. Trish asked me to bring in a few more paintings because she only had one left, and I forgot to pack them last night.
