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“Are you sure you’re ready to talk about this? I’m not even sure I’m ready to talk about it,” he says.
“Yes, I need to know how I got out of there. It’ll help to remind me I’m not still in that clearing.”
Cooper takes a deep breath. I can see the events of the evening flash in his eyes before he looks back at me. “We found evidence in Rachel’s desk indicating she had murdered those girls, and I believed she’d take you to the lake. You’d mentioned to her it was your favorite place in Sonoma, and since it was the location of the first murder, it was significant to both of you.
“When we got there, we weren’t sure what we would find, so we came in as quietly as we could. The first thing we could see was Rachel leaning over you, and it took everything in me not to rush at her when I heard you scream.
“I couldn’t see if you were okay, just that your feet were spread apart and tied to stakes in the ground. When we pushed through into the clearing, Rachel turned around, and I could finally see you. I saw blood running down your chest and I swear, I would’ve shot her right then and there if the chances of me hitting you weren’t so high.”
I squeeze his hand to pull him back to me. As much as I wanted to hear what happened, I didn’t think about the effect it would have on Cooper.
I can’t take the space between us anymore, so I put my hand on his neck and pull him closer to me, holding his face so he’ll lean in and kiss me. He presses his lips against mine so gently and pulls back entirely too quickly, but the little smile on his face tells me it did what I wanted. I nod for him to continue, and this time, he keeps his eyes on me instead of retreating into the memories.
“I distracted her for a little bit, but when she told me she was the one who killed Riss, I couldn’t keep up the easy-going charade. I pissed her off, and she turned to take it out on you, but you pulled your hands out from behind you and pushed her. It took us all by surprise, actually.”
“The whole time she had me, I’d been working on untying the knot binding my hands. It helped to distract me from the cuts,” I say quietly. Cooper looks at me with both pride and sadness.
“You were so brave, sweetheart,” he says. “She wasn’t prepared for you to attack, so she lost her balance and fell backward. Todd and I subdued her, and then I untied you and carried you out to the ambulance.”
As Cooper finishes telling me what happened, little flashes of the night pop into my mind. The moment I saw Cooper come into the clearing, the feeling of the bind around my hands coming loose, being wrapped in Cooper’s arms… It comes to me in pictures instead of actual memories. Some of the things she said over the night comes back to me, and my head snaps up, he may not know everything Rachel has done.
“Cooper, it was her. Everything that’s happened over the last month, and even before, was all her. She killed those girls, she broke into my house, she was even behind all of the B and Es in Westlake.” He puts his hand on my cheek to help me calm back down.
“I know,” he says softly. “Well, I didn’t know about the B and Es?although it’s not a surprise at this point?but I knew about everything else.” Shaking his head, he looks down as if keeping eye contact with me is unbearable. “God, Quinn. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. Everything she did was because of me… Because I didn’t notice her obsessions. I should’ve seen it. None of this would’ve happened if I did, and I’m so, so sorry.” He sounds so broken.
Oh, my poor guy. I should’ve known this was going to hurt him to his core. His heart is so big he’s going to take the full blame for everything that happened, and of course, it’s not his fault.
“Oh, my love.” I put my hand on his face despite my skin burning as I twist. “There is no way you could’ve known. Do you know why?” He looks deep into my eyes, searching for hope and forgiveness, too afraid he’s not worth it.
“You are so inherently good. You have such a big heart capable of so much love that the idea of something this heinous is unfathomable. Rachel knew this about you and used it to get away with everything she did, which is why the entire blame lays on her shoulders. Not yours.”
“But shouldn’t I have noticed how evil she was?”
“Of course not, because she didn’t let you see that part of her. She was a master manipulator and was able to hide the evil in her to not get caught.” I lean back into the bed because both my head and my body are screaming at me.
“I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to not blame myself. Look at you. You’re like a mummy and can barely move. I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive. I love you so much, Cooper,” I say, my eyes getting heavy as my body relaxes now that I know I’m safe.
“I love you, Quinn. More than I ever knew was possible,” I hear him whisper as I drift off.
* * *
“Can I get you anything?How are you feeling?” my mom asks for the fifteenth time over the last hour. Cooper called Mom and Dad while I was getting stitched up, and they flew in immediately to help me recover.
They had to stay in a hotel for a couple of nights while Levi got the guest suite finished, and to my complete surprise, they moved in as soon as it was done. I was also moved in within a couple of days. Cooper put his foot down on waiting, and my stuff was moved in pretty quickly after that.
“I’m fine, Mom. I don’t need anything,” I grit out so I don’t yell at her because I know she’s just trying to take care of me, but I am not completely helpless. It’s been almost two weeks now since Rachel’s attack, and while I am still incredibly sore, I’m able to move and do things for myself.
“Are you sure? I could make you a snack or something. Alice sent over a bunch of groceries for us which was so kind of her.”
Not only did my parents use the guest suite sooner than I thought, but they also met Cooper’s parents this week as well. They got along fantastically, which was a small surprise to me and I guess could be considered a blessing of Rachel’s attack.
It’s been great having my parents here, but I’m also ready for them to head home. They’ve been here a couple of days too long for me, and I know my mom is driving Cooper up the wall even though he’d never say anything.
I sigh and slowly get up from the couch, my muscles aching and my skin stretching around my stitches. I walk into the kitchen where my mom is faffing around and gently wrap my arms around her. “You know how much I love you and how appreciative I am that you’re here, right?” I ask her.
“I love you too, dear, and we wouldn’t be anywhere else after your ordeal.”
