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“Well, hopefully, the doctors are going to be able to fix it for you. You might have to do some weird things for them to get better, though.”
“Okay,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. We’re quiet for a minute as the machines beep around us. “Tucker, do I gotta go back to that place?”
“Do you mean the group home?” I ask, making sure I know what place he’s talking about.
He nods his head and looks at me, his blue eyes showing a maturity no five-year-old should have.
“Well, the group home burned down, buddy, so no, you won’t go back there, but I’m not sure where you’ll go instead.” As much as I’d like to lie to him and say he’s going somewhere better, I can’t do it. He doesn’t deserve the disappointment.
“Can I come home with you?” he asks, and my heart shatters. I take a deep breath to keep my emotions in check.
“I don’t think you can, but I’ll ask your caseworker what the plan is, okay? Then we’ll talk about what happens next.” My voice cracks as I try to work around the lump in my throat.
“I don’t want to go back to my mom’s house. It was scary there.”
“I know how you feel, buddy. I used to be scared of my dad.”
He looks at me like he can’t believe I’d be afraid of someone. “Did he hit you like my mom hit me?” he asks quietly.
“He did,” I say, nodding my head. “But I’m going to make sure it never happens to you again. I promise.”
Noah looks at me for a minute, trying to decide if I mean what I say. I hold his gaze so he knows I’ll follow through with my promise.
He nods his head and scoots down the bed, snuggling under the covers. His eyes are heavy with sleep as he lays there.
“Goodnight, buddy. I’ll see you in a few days.” I run my hand over his blond hair as he falls asleep. It takes everything I have to get up and walk away from the little boy who’s stolen the bits of my heart Natalie didn’t already have.
I walk out of the room, quietly closing the door behind me.
“Did he really hit you?” I hear from my left. My head whips up, and I see Uncle Jack leaning against the wall, his arms crossed and his jaw tightly clenched.
The blood drains from my face when I realize he must’ve heard my conversation with Noah.
I blow out a deep breath, and my shoulders drop as the weight of the lie I’ve carried is finally out in the open. “Yeah, he did.”
Jack looks away from me, his fists clenching so tight his knuckles turn white. “When you were sixteen, I asked you if he had hit you, and you told me no. You said you’d gotten into a fight with some kid at school, so I started training you at the station, thinking it would help you burn some energy.” He looks up at me with anger and remorse in his eyes. “I had a feeling you were lying, but I selfishly chose to believe the story. I couldn’t stomach the idea he’d been hurting you the whole time and I didn’t do a damn thing about it.”
“Jack...” I start, but he holds his hand to stop me.
“Let me get this out.”
I nod my head for him to continue. He just looks at me for a second, trying to get his thoughts together. “I should’ve done something. I’ve always known I should’ve stepped in, but I honestly thought it would be more disruptive to you if I took you away from him. Jenny and I talked about it so many times, and now I wish with everything I have we would’ve just done it.” He looks down at the floor, and I wait to say anything because I don’t think he’s done talking.
“Tucker, I am so sorry. I will be sorry until the day I die. I know my words will never come close to making up for my lack of action, but it’s all I have at this point.”
“Jack, the day you asked me if he hit me, I told you no because it was the last time he ever did. I had that black eye because I fought back, and he never touched me again.
“I could’ve told you so many times over the years, but I never did. Part of it, I’ll admit, was because I was scared, but there was also a part of me that wondered what would happen to him if I was taken away. Despite how he treated me, he was my dad, and I cared about him.”
I look around the empty hallway, just now remembering we’re still standing in the hospital outside of Noah’s room. I’m grateful there isn’t anyone around to hear our conversation.
“Please don’t dwell on this. I’m fine now, and it’s all over. You and Aunt Jenny got me through the worst of it and provided a safe place for me to stay. Even though you didn’t know at the time, it was enough. It was more than enough, and I’ll always be thankful you stuck around for me.”
He takes in my face as if he’s trying to make sure I’m not still being abused and nods his head. He grabs my arm, pulling me into the only hug he’s ever given me. Surprisingly, it’s exactly what I needed.
We pull back from the hug and sniff like we weren’t just emotional, which makes us both laugh. He gestures for us to walk down the hallway together, and we head out of the hospital.
“Can you promise not to tell Aunt Jenny? I don’t want her to know what happened before. It’ll only hurt her.”
