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This is like a tease of what our future could look like one day.
“Can I get ice cream?” Noah asks.
“Sure, buddy, but we have to eat our lunch first, okay?”
“Okay.” Noah shrugs and starts coloring on the kids’ page I grabbed him. “You wanna color too?” he asks Natalie, looking up at her.
“I’d love to,” she says and grabs a crayon. I just sit back and watch the two of them color together. They talk about anything and everything that pops into Noah’s quick-moving mind.
I should be used to how smart he is by now but he still surprises me sometimes. Hopefully, he can start kindergarten in the fall at Sonoma’s elementary school. It’d be fun to show him around and tell him that Natalie and I both went to school there.
After we order our food?burgers for me and Natalie, and chicken strips for Noah?I decide it’s time to talk to him about what we’re planning.
“Hey, Noah, Natalie and I had something we wanted to talk to you about,” I say, getting his attention. His eyes meet mine, and I see so much strength and maturity in his gaze it almost knocks the breath out of me.
“We wanted to see if you would want to come and live with us one day.”
“You mean like a sleepover?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Sort of, but we were thinking more like forever.”
“I’d stay with you forever?” His eyes grow wide like he can’t believe what I’m saying.
“We hope so. Would you be okay with that?”
He nods his head really fast, and a smile stretches across his face. “That would be so cool!”
“It’s not a sure thing yet, so you’ll have to stay with Tim and Jessica for a while longer, okay?”
“Okay. They’re nice.”
I look at Natalie and can see tears welling in her eyes. It’s heartbreaking that Noah’s been through so much he uses niceness as a factor for liking someone. I hope I hear back from the state soon so he never has to worry about it again.
Our meals arrive, and Noah entertains us with his silly stories about dinosaurs and his favorite cartoon shows. I love how he’s showing off for Natalie and is absolutely eating up her attention.
Once we’ve finished our lunch, we head over to the park and do our best to keep up with Noah as he runs circles around us. His energy level is off the charts. I should get a playset for the backyard so he’ll have a place to play when he’s living with us full time.
“How do you leave him at the end of the day?” Natalie asks as we watch Noah go down the big slide for the millionth time.
“It tears my heart out every time.”
She wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes.
“Are you going to move in with me soon?”
Natalie’s head whips up to look at me, her eyes wide in surprise.
“Do you want me to move in with you?”
“I’ve wanted you to move in with me since our first date.”
She grins up at me. “Okay.”
“Okay, you’ll move in with me?”
She nods her head. After a quick check on Noah, I lean in and kiss her.
“I’ll show you how happy you’ve made me later.” I wink and she just laughs at me, running off to chase Noah.
I watch the two people who mean the most to me giggle and play together, and it finally feels like my life is going exactly how it should be. I don’t even give a thought to the threat or the arsonist as I watch my family play and enjoy life. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, to not live in fear of all of the shitty things life can throw at you.
My life has been rooted in apprehension for way too long; I won’t let anything stand in the way of my happiness anymore.
