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She turns to grab her stuff, and before I can think better of it, I stop her. “Wait.”
Sara freezes.
“You’re right. I’m sorry I’ve been taking my anger out on everyone.” I run my hands through my hair. “Things are just shitty right now.” With my admission, some of the tension drains from my shoulders.
“That doesn’t give you a pass to be a dick,” she points out.
“No, it doesn’t.” I lean down to grab some of the supplies on the floor. Sara comes back to the closet and starts cleaning up.
“Do you want to talk about it? Or just tell me what the worst thing is right now?”
“Everything is the worst, but for tonight, my biggest annoyance is my dad’s organization tactics.”
“It seems we’re both struggling with that.” Sara chuckles. After looking at this closet, she’s definitely right.
“He didn’t have a system for anything, did he?”
“Not really. He was too busy taking care of the animals.”
In one statement, Sara summed up my dad completely. All he cared about were the animals that came through his door. None of the business stuff mattered to him. He never saw the importance of taking the time to organize because he could be helping an animal instead.
Once we get the loose items picked up from the floor, Sara finishes taking stock of everything in the cabinet.
“This is making me realize the rest of the clinic needs to be organized, too.” She sighs.
“Let’s eat this elephant one bite at a time. We’ll organize the closet, then do the rest some other time.”
As we work, I’m surprised when Sara keeps up a steady stream of chatter. None of it is of any substance, but when our previous conversations have all been hostile, it’s nice not to have any of the residual anger in our words.
“Hold on, you’re actually saying you prefer the cereal part of Lucky Charms instead of the marshmallows?” Sara’s incredulity makes me laugh.
“Yes, that’s what I’m saying. Those marshmallows feel like I’m shoving a cavity into my tooth while I eat them.”
“I knew you were strange, but that takes the cake. If I could get the box of only marshmallows here, I would have it in my pantry all the time.”
“The next time I’m in Greensboro, I’ll pick you up a box.” I don’t even think about the offer before I make it. For some reason, I have a very strong urge to drive to the city right now and find a box for her.
“Really?” Sara’s eyes are wide, as if she can’t believe I’d do something like that. Given my behavior, the disbelief is warranted.
“Sure.” I shrug, not wanting it to be a big deal.
We finish organizing the closet in relative silence, only talking when we’re deciding where things should go. It’s comfortable, though. The tension that’s been a constant presence since I started at the clinic seems to have abated. It’s nice.
When we’re almost done, Sara writes a note on the door explaining where everything is and why. I never would have thought of doing something like that. I hate who I’ve become now. This constant buzz of anger isn’t me. It’s not who I want to be.
“Did you really come in tonight because I mentioned the storage was a mess?”
Sara sighs as if she can’t believe she did it, either. “Apparently, yeah. It was bothering me that this closet was so disorganized. It’s been this way since before I started. We just never did anything about it, knowing Dr. Charles would’ve struggled with the change.”
It shouldn’t surprise me how well she knows my father. She’s worked with him for a long time, so it makes sense. But for some reason, the fact that she knows something so inherent about him makes me respect her a lot more than I would have previously. He really would have struggled with changing where all the supplies were kept, and instead of complaining about it, she just adapted.
Not many people would live that selflessly.
“Well, you may not believe me, but I am grateful you took the time to do it.”
Sara shrugs her shoulders like it’s no big deal as we put the final supplies back in their buckets. When we walk back out of the closet, I realize it’s been an hour since we started this project.
“Do you think everyone would hate me more if I don’t get payroll approved tonight and they have to wait an extra day for their paychecks?”
