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“Wow.”

“I was surprised, too. He can still be moody, but he’s no longer an asshole. Sometimes it can be a little hot.”

“I so understand how hot the broody thing can be.” Nat’s eyebrow raise makes me laugh. Tucker is the epitome of the dark, bad boy vibe.

“Nat…”

Her face goes serious when she hears my tone.

“He has the penis ravines.”

Natalie groans. “God, those V-lines are so hot. I don’t blame you for jumping on that faster than a tick on a dog.” She leans in to clink her glass against mine. “Proud of you.”

I bust out laughing, happy to have this time with my best friend. Getting the truth off my chest helped me feel lighter than I have in weeks, which is not a surprise. Still doesn’t make it any easier to talk about, though.

“You better not tell my brothers anything.”

“Cross my heart. Even though I think you need to tell them.”

“Adam asked what was going on at dinner.” I grimace.

“He’s always had an inside track on your emotions.”

“I’ll tell them soon. I promise.”

“Good. Now tell me more about these penis ravines.”

Giggling, I tell her about how seriously sexy Ben was the other night. I never realized the dominance thing would work for me. I guess I’ve always found the idea of it interesting but hadn’t found a guy I trusted enough to experiment with it. I trusted Ben the minute he held me while I cried. It was like he unlocked something inside me that’s been long dormant, waiting for someone like him to come around.

We haven’t talked about what it is we’re doing with each other. I’m certain we’re more than a friends-with-benefits situation, but what does that mean in the long run? Are we in a relationship? Dating? Are those the same thing?

I don’t know. What I do know is I love the orgasms this man can dole out, so if I’m getting those, I’ll be okay for a while.

25

BEN

The steam hangs heavy in the small bathroom as I step out of the shower. The room was not designed for someone of my size. If I stretched my arms out, I could almost touch the walls at the same time. Makes me wish my house was done. I’ve been stopping by periodically to see the progress, and it already looks twenty times better than it did, despite the mess.

Wiping the steam from the mirror, I shave my face and brush my teeth. When I’m done in the bathroom, I head to my bedroom to get dressed and slip on my favorite grey slacks and a short-sleeved button-down shirt.

Tonight, I’m finally taking Sara out on a date. Even though we’ve been hanging out for a few weeks now, I have yet to actually take her out. The start of our relationship was a little unconventional, and tonight, I want to make sure she knows I’m in this and ready to make her mine. This isn’t some summer hook-up or rebound from Rebecca. She’s the real deal to me. Someone I could see myself building a future with instead of checking off a box like a to-do list.

I know that’s what Rebecca was to me. She was filling a role I thought I needed to have in order to be successful. She was independent, had her own money, and came from a good family. Those were all the requirements I thought I needed. What we had wasn’t truly a partnership; it was more of a business deal.

Sara could be a real partner to me. Someone I can trust to be my true self with instead of feeling like I have to put on this façade of strength. I also want her to feel comfortable relying on me. To know that I will always be there for her anytime she needs me.

I hope I can prove it to her tonight. She decided she wanted to try to eat at La Mensa. She hasn’t been back since she had a panic attack when we tried to pick up her car. I told her she doesn’t need to push herself too hard, that what she went through was intense, and it doesn’t make her weak if she’s not ready.

By the set of her jaw and her raised eyebrow, I knew she was dead set on having dinner there, so I just kissed her until she melted into me and told her how much I admired her strength.

I head downstairs to get ready to leave, finding Mom piddling around in the kitchen. She and Dad already had dinner, so I know she’s only hanging out to weasel details from me about what I’m doing tonight. She thinks she’s sneaky, but I know her game.

“You going out?”

“Mm-hmm. I’m taking Sadie with me. Probably won’t be back tonight.” I bend over to give Sadie some love. She’s become buddies with Koda and Luna, which is great for me since I don’t have to feel guilty about leaving her with my mom and dad all the time. Plus, I miss her when I’m gone all night.

“Who are you going out with?”

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