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‘Isn’t it a bit soon?’ I said tentatively, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
Si squeezed my fingers. ‘Is it? There are no rules, Han. Who says we have to do what everyone else does?’
I scrunched up my face, trying to put into words how I felt. Scared, for one thing. Out of control for another. This wasn’t how things went for me. People loved me and then they left me, that was how it had always been. And now here was Si telling me how serious he was about me, how he saw a future for the two of us. Part of me couldn’t quite accept that he meant it.
‘We’re still getting to know each other, aren’t we?’ I explained. ‘Won’t you get bored if you have to see me every day? Once you discover all my bad habits. How messy I am. How I leave washing-up in the sink. All that.’
He’d laughed, kissing me hard on the forehead. ‘I love everything about you, Han, messy bits and all.’
I brushed the tip of my nose against his. ‘Are you sure?’ I whispered.
‘Yes, I’m sure. So what do you say?’ he asked, looking hopefully into my eyes.
I hesitated, not quite believing it. ‘I say yes.’
The waiter came bustling over to take our order. I went for the posh croque, and Léo chose some sort of brioche and goats’ cheese combo involving several ingredients I’d never heard of, at least not in French.
‘Six months is very fast,’ said Léo, once the waiter had whirled off to the kitchen. ‘Why were you in such a rush?’
I looked down at my nails, inspecting them for more chipped varnish. ‘When you know, you know.’
He gave me a cynical look, picking up his beer. ‘Right.’
I was sure I saw him shaking his head to himself. Who was he to question the relationship Si and I had? It was right, I knew it was. And I certainly didn’t need Léo putting doubt in my mind. Because the only thing was, I felt a little as though things had shifted between us lately. Si hadn’t seemed himself for a few weeks now and had been especially snappy whenever the topic of his job came up, although of course he refused to talk about it. He’d even done it in front of John and Ellie the week before we left for Venice.
‘How’s work?’ John had asked.
He and Ellie had been round at ours, leaning on the counter, watching Si cook, like they always did.
‘Same as ever,’ said Si breezily, tipping a tin of tomatoes into the pan.
‘What’s happened to that arsehole new boss of yours?’ asked John.
Si flinched. ‘Still an arsehole.’
‘He’s awful,’ I said to John. ‘Si’s been working late almost every night this week, haven’t you Si, because of his ridiculous demands? Comes home exhausted, half the time,’ I said to Ellie.
‘Yeah, all right, Hannah,’ said Si, glaring round at me. ‘You don’t need to keep going on about it.’
I looked at Ellie, who raised her eyebrows.
Si stopped stirring the pan and took the Prosecco out of the fridge, topping up each of our glasses, although we’d only had a couple of sips each. He spilled some over the top of mine, sending creamy bubbles cascading all over the table.
‘Fucking hell,’ he groaned, grabbing the kitchen roll and mopping it up.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ said John, who was not the most intuitive person I’d ever met and was therefore apparently oblivious to the change in atmosphere. ‘I reckon I’ll take your advice and call your HR department about that head of marketing position you told me about. I might not have enough experience. They might laugh me out of the interview room. But if I don’t try, I’ll never know, right?’
Si turned back to the chopping board, slicing some black olives into quarters.
‘You know what, mate? I’m not sure that job is going after all,’ he said, flipping a tea towel over his shoulder and catching John’s eye. ‘I hate to have given you the wrong idea, but I reckon the guy’s staying put.’
‘Really?’ said John, looking surprised. ‘Because you said––’
‘If I were you, I’d sack that one off and look for something else,’ said Si, well and truly killing the conversation. Even John gave me a funny look that time.
The waiter brought our food, which in my case was a deliciously chunky piece of toasted bread topped with a layer each of ham and bubbling, squidgy cheese, with a side of fresh, mixed salad drizzled with olive oil. My mouth immediately began to water.
‘This looks great,’ I said.
