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Reluctantly I put my cloth down. ‘Sometimes, yeah. There’s this girl,’ I said, for some reason thinking of Rebecca. ‘She lives opposite me and she’s got this sorted life: 9–5 job, nice clothes, nice boyfriend, always looks well put together.’
‘Nice-looking?’ asked Luke.
I nodded. ‘Yeah. She’d be even prettier if she wasn’t such hard work. But my point is, watching her come home at the same time every night, knowing she’s got the whole evening free to do whatever she pleases, knowing she’s got the cash to buy whatever she wants within reason … it looks appealing sometimes, I have to say.’
Luke poured himself some water and downed it, slamming his glass down in the sink. ‘Sounds like you quite like her,’ he said.
I groaned. What had I started? ‘She’s really not my type.’
‘Why, what’s your type?’
I tutted. ‘I don’t know. But not her. She takes herself too seriously. I bet she only dates guys who’ve got money, anyway.’
I couldn’t help but compare myself to her glamorous American boyfriend who probably spent hours preening himself in front of the mirror, mesmerised by how good he looked.
Luke put his hands on his hips. Bizarrely, he seemed somewhat irritated. ‘You don’t know that, though, do you? You’re making all these assumptions about someone you’ve only had – what – a couple of conversations with?’
‘Look, it’s not just her. I’m not interested in seeing anyone, you know that.’
I wasn’t sure how we’d even got onto this subject.
Luke looked at me, more earnestly than ever before. I thought this duty manager business might have gone to his head. ‘So basically, you’re pushing people away before you’ve given them a chance?’
I served one of the locals another pint of Carlsberg. Annoyingly, Luke waited, hovering over me. He wasn’t going to let me off the hook with this one, I could tell.
‘Give them a chance to do what?’ I asked Luke, once I’d given the man his change. ‘Add a whole load of hassle to my already massively busy life? I need to focus on my career, mate. Making a success of that is all that matters at the moment. I’m nearly there, my big break is just around the corner, I can feel it.’
Well I could, vaguely.
Luke tutted. ‘Maybe. But that doesn’t mean you should put everything else on hold. Why can’t you have both?’
‘It doesn’t work like that.’ Although, admittedly, other actors seemed to manage it. ‘Anyway, you’re only saying this because you’re practically married,’ I snapped.
Honestly, these people in serious relationships had some sort of superiority complex, didn’t they, with their trips to IKEA and their Sunday-morning brunches on Columbia Road and their matching towel sets?
‘I live with someone I love,’ replied Luke. ‘I get to see her face every day. You should try it sometime.’
He stomped off, clearly having had enough of me, the keys to the till clinking against the buckle of his belt. So much for getting that advance.
