AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m not, Mommy,” I said then quickly put the crab leg cluster back on the pile.
We sat around and ate, laughed and gossiped.
“I knew something was up because I had a dream about fish and I knew it wasn’t Torrey,” Vivian said adding to the story of how my mother found out about my pregnancy and our marriage.
“Correct. I’m not pushing any fully formed human beings out of this cooch,” Torrey said.
“You’ve never wanted children?” Kenzie asked.
“No, not really. I think I may have wanted them when I was in my early thirties because it was the acceptable thing to do, you know get married and have children but then I got so busy with all of my charities. I really didn’t want to make time to be a mother. I know that sounds selfish but…”
“It’s not selfish. It’s being honest. I get it,” I said.
“I do too,” Keeva said, “We are taught to desire a husband and kids but deviating from that is fine. There is nothing wrong with living your life the way you want to live it.”
“I will focus on being a great aunt to all the kids Averie is about to pop out and continue with Princess and Princeton. I am just fine,” Torrey finished.
I looked over just in time to see Vivian roll her eyes. I didn’t know exactly what that was about. The food was cleared from the room and fresh coffee, water, and tea were brought in. I fixed myself a cup of chamomile tea and curled up on the opposite end of the couch from my sisters.
“I would like to discuss something since we are all here together,” Mommy said.
“Oooo, my bachelorette party?” Kenzie asked while dancing in her seat.
“No, Kenzie. I think we’ve talked about your stuff enough today. Keeva,” Mommy continued.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“I’ve sat back now for several months and watched you go through your situation with Kerem. Do you know what you want to do as far as the relationship is concerned?” Mommy asked.
“Ummm…no…I mean…I don’t know,” Keeva stuttered.
“Keeva?”
“Yes, Vivian?”
“He cheated, correct?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“The Bible gives us two reasons for divorce do you know what they are?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Hardness of heart and infidelity. If they leave you or turn their back on you, you have every right to ask for a divorce. And infidelity because they’ve broken the marriage vow. Now you can walk away from your husband free and clear but let me explain something to you. You are going to hurt whether you are with him or not. You have to mourn the death of what your relationship was because it will never be that way again. Grief has stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You have to go through all of that to move on from what you’ve been through.”
“And that’s exactly what it feels like. Like someone had died.” Keeva explained.
“No one in this room would disagree with your decision to move on from the relationship because what you’ve experienced is the ultimate betrayal right? Can I say though, if you still love him and he is repentant for what he has done? Notice I didn’t say sorry, I said repentant. That means he recognized his error, has turned away from it and will never do it again, then I would say that he is worth fighting for. But if he is not repentant but merely sorry that he was caught, then it’s time to let it go,” Vivian said.
“He’s apologized one million times. He’s sent flowers, candy, clothes, shoes, and handbags trying to get me to talk to him but I’m just so damn…sorry, dang on mad and hurt that all our conversations turn into arguments. I want to let him back in, but then I don’t.”
“What is your conflict?” Torrey asked.
“I’ve always said that if he ever cheated on me that I would leave immediately. No, if ands or buts. Now I feel stupid because I really want him back some days. It’s like I’m fighting against myself.”
“I get that,” Vivian said. “Then you are also worried about what people will think.”
“Yes. I don’t know why I am, but I am. I feel like I have to set an example for my little sisters. You know, like how you shouldn’t take nothing off no man.”
