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It was almost ten years to the day Taylor found me on the side of the road, bloodied and scared. After meeting with the sheriff, Matt and Amanda were picked up at the ER and arrested on kidnapping charges. Only that’s not where the hell ended. A search of the house and land where I’d been held uncovered horrors that made me question how I’d ever gotten out of there alive. The remains of five young girls were found buried in shallow graves behind the house. One turned out to be Cora, their daughter. The others were girls like me, girls Matt had taken from the streets and kept locked in the room I’d slept in. Matt would never say what happened to Cora, but the police believed either he or Amanda had accidentally killed her. The girls, me included, were somehow a replacement for Cora.
I’d felt desperately sorry for those girls and their families, and it had taken a long time to overcome the guilt I’d felt at surviving when they hadn’t. Even though both Matt and Amanda are locked up back in Iowa, it’s only now, ten years later, after hours of counseling, I’m able to move forward with my life, finally putting what happened behind me. I’ve worked hard with my therapist over the past twelve months, building up to moving out and living independently. While I’ll be nervous, I’m ready to do this and move on with my life.
I shake thoughts of Matt and Amanda from my head as I pull up outside my new apartment block. I don’t want to think about them, especially today. As I climb out of the Jeep, I sling the strap attached to my camera over my arm and watch as my parents climb out of their car. My mom has her tears under control and smiles as she links her arm with mine.
“My baby is all grown up,” she mumbles as she looks at the block in front of her.
“Max moved out last year, and you didn’t cry this much then,” I tell her with a chuckle.
“Oh, she did, believe me,” my dad says as he comes to stand behind us. “She simply did it when she thought no one was looking.” My mom turns and swats him on the stomach, making him laugh.
“Anyway, Max moving out was different. He’s six foot two and a Marine. He can look after himself,” she says, shooting a look at my dad.
“I can look after myself. I’ll be fine, Mom,” I promise as I pull her toward the entrance. She doesn’t answer, and I know she worries about me. After what she and Dad went through when I was taken, I understand why. For years afterward, I needed them to go everywhere with me, but things are different now. I refuse to let what happened to me define my life.
“Let’s get a picture,” I tell them. “The start of a new chapter.” The three of us stand with our backs to the entrance, and I hold the camera out in front of me, guessing when all of us will be in the shot. “Smile,” I cry as I press down on the button. Turning the camera around, by some miracle, we’re all in the frame, and I beam.
“That’s one to go up on the wall,” my mom says, kissing my cheek.
I key in the security code, then push open the heavy door. We’d chosen this apartment complex because of the heightened security it offered. There’s an intercom on the main door and security cameras in the shared lobby. The added security makes me feel better, and it’s something my parents insisted on. My apartment is on the fifth floor, and I press the button for the elevator, squeezing my mom’s arm that’s linked with mine. Dad appears behind us as the doors to the elevator open. I smile at him as I see he’s carrying two boxes. He must have gone back to the car after I’d taken the photograph.
“No point going up empty-handed,” he says with a wink as I step aside to allow him into the elevator first. I’ve had the key to the apartment for a couple of days. Most of my furniture has already been brought up by a moving company. I’m moving in for real though, and tonight will be my first night on my own. My stomach flips at the thought, but I don’t have time to overthink it as the elevator doors open, and we walk out into the corridor. Taking a left, we walk down the short hallway, stopping outside apartment fifty-five. I open the door with a flourish and walk in, my parents following closely behind me.
The apartment is relatively small, consisting of a living room with an open-plan kitchen, two bedrooms, and a bathroom. It’s perfect for me though, and I fell in love as soon as I viewed it. Even though I was here a couple of days ago to show the moving company where to put the furniture, I excitedly go from room to room, planning in my head where all the stuff in my Jeep will go.
“Where do you want these boxes, Hal?” my dad calls out from the living room.
“Put them in the spare room for now. I’ll sort them all out in a bit,” I shout as I flop down onto my bed.
“What time is Jess coming over, sweetheart?” my mom asks, poking her head around my bedroom door.
“Not until after work.”
“Let’s get as much unpacked as we can, then, before she arrives.” She disappears back toward the living room, and I sit up, excited to show my apartment off. Jess is my only friend these days. I had a lot of friends before, but when I came back, people were different. I didn’t go out much, and I missed a load of school. Jess was pretty much the only person who bothered. I’m so grateful she never gave up on me.
A few hours later, I’m sitting in the spare room surrounded by boxes. My parents left about an hour ago, my mom making me promise to call her after Jess leaves. She won’t get any sleep tonight worrying about me. I wish I could convince her I’m going to be fine.
Standing, I grab one of the boxes marked ‘books’ and head over to the other side of the room where my bookshelves sit. I’ve got at least five boxes full of books. I’ve always loved to read, but after I got back from Cedar Falls, I found myself reading more and more, losing myself in story after story. Those stories stopped me from falling into the abyss, one I knew if I allowed myself to fall, I couldn’t be sure of ever getting out.
I pull out book after book from the box, lovingly flicking through the pages, sometimes stopping to read a paragraph or two before transferring them to the shelves. As ridiculous as it sounds, the characters on these pages felt like friends. I could pretend I was part of their lives and not stuck in the hell that was mine.
After unpacking all five boxes, I stand back and smile, appreciating my handiwork. The rest of the apartment might be in total chaos, but the bookshelves are full, and I love them. As I wander out of the bedroom, there’s a knock on the apartment door. That can’t be Jess already, unless I’ve spent longer sorting my books than I thought. I glance at the clock on the wall in the kitchen, seeing it’s not even six yet. The intercom hasn’t rung either, so it must be someone already inside the building. Walking to the entryway, I pause before gingerly opening the apartment door. Standing in the hallway is a woman around my age holding a bottle of wine.
“Hey there. I’m Kitty. I live across the hall.” She smiles, holding out the bottle for me to take. “Welcome to the building.”
“Thank you. I’m Hallie.” I return the smile, shocked at her kindness before taking the bottle from her outstretched arm.
“Nice to meet you, Hallie. I thought I’d say hi. If there’s anything you need, feel free to knock.” She waves as she turns and heads to her apartment. I bite my lip as I look down at the bottle in my hand. I don’t trust people easily, and with good reason, but today feels different. Today I want to try.
“Kitty,” I call as I step out into the hallway. I wait for her to turn around. “Do you want to come in for a drink?” I hold the bottle up and wait for her reply.
A smile breaks out on her face. “Sure, that would be great.” She follows me into the apartment, closing the door behind her.
“Please excuse the mess, I’m nowhere near unpacked.”
“Pshhh, this is nothing. My apartment looks worse than this most days, and I’ve been here for six months.”
I walk into the kitchen, searching through a box on the floor for the corkscrew. “Take a seat. My corkscrew is in here somewhere. Ahh, here it is.” With a flourish, I hold the corkscrew up triumphantly. “Now to find the wine glasses.”
