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“Everything’s such a mess. I shouldn’t even be thinking about how happy I am when I’m with you. Not with that lunatic still out there somewhere with that poor girl.”
“Hey. You deserve to be happy. Yes, it’s a mess, but even more reason to grasp every second. You, more than most, know how fragile life can be.”
“It feels wrong.”
I frown as I sit up. “It does?” I can’t help but feel hurt by her words. For me, being with her has never felt more right.
“That came out wrong. I’m sorry.” She covers my hand with hers, and I turn my palm upward, lacing my fingers with hers. “I don’t meanthisfeels wrong.” She holds up our joined hands. “I wish things were different. I wish we could be together and not have all this shit hanging over us.”
“I want that too, Hallie. We won’t be hiding away forever, I promise.” She gives me a sad smile, and my heart aches. I want to take all her pain and uncertainty away. Knowing I can’t, I lower my head and capture her lips with mine. It’s a gentle kiss. One I hope shows how much I care for her.
“I come with so much baggage, Sawyer. It’s suffocating. You could have someone who has it all together,” she says, shaking her head.
“Hallie, I don’t want anyone else. I want you. You are the strongest, most amazing woman I’ve ever met. There aren’t many people who’ve been through what you have and come out the other side.” I cup her face with my hand, softly stroking her cheek. “No more self-doubt, sweetheart. Okay? I’m exactly where I want to be.” I pause and frown. “Well, not exactly where I’d like to be. I’d like to be in that hot tub with you.”
She giggles and flicks water at me, wetting my top. “Why don’t you get in then?” she asks, running her wet hand up my arm.
“I may as well, now that you’ve soaked me.” I lower my head and kiss her. “Trust me, when everyone has gone home, you won’t be able to stop me from getting in there,” I whisper against her lips. She shivers, and I don’t know if it’s my words or whether she’s getting cold. I’d like to think it’s the effect I’m having on her.
“Hey, you two,” a voice shouts from inside. Looking up, Brooke’s standing by the doors that lead onto the patio. “Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Do you want to?” I ask Hallie.
“Sure. I’ll have a quick shower while you choose something if that’s okay.”
“Of course, it is.” I hand her the towel and try not to stare as she stands. Droplets of water run over her breasts and down her flat, toned stomach, and my cock strains against my jeans. As she steps out, I wrap the towel around her and pull her close. “Don’t be long,” I whisper as I lead her into the cabin. She smiles up at me before disappearing upstairs. I stare after her as Brooke clears her throat behind me.
“I’ve never seen you like this,” Brooke says as she comes to stand next to me.
“Like what?” I ask as I turn to face her.
“In love.”
“What? I’m not in love,” I lie, knowing full well I am. “I’ve had other girlfriends. It’s not like you’ve never seen me in a relationship before.”
“You’ve never looked at any of your previous girlfriends the way you look at Hallie. She’s different, isn’t she? She’s the one.”
I sigh heavily and run my fingers through my hair. “I’ve never felt like this before, Brooke…” I trail off.
“But?”
“What if, when this is all over, she feels differently? I’m her CPO. What if her attraction is because I’m protecting her?”
“Do you honestly believe that?”
I shrug, not knowing what to believe. “I don’t want to believe it.”
“Sawyer, she looks at you the same way you look at her. Whatever’s happening between you two, the feelings are mutual.”
“I shouldn’t be getting close to her when she’s so vulnerable, but I can’t stay away. I’m drawn to her and not just because I’m protecting her. She’s amazing.”
“I’m willing to bet she feels the same way about you. Is this all going to be over soon for her? Are they any closer to catching the bastard?”
I shake my head. “We’ve no idea where he is. I hope to God they catch him soon. I’m not sure how much more she can handle.”
She squeezes my arm before giving me a sad smile. “Let’s pick a movie and escape for a couple of hours.”
Smiling gratefully, I follow her into the den, flopping down onto one of the large sofas while I wait for Hallie to join us. I hope Brooke is right, and Hallie’s feelings for me mirror my own. She’s clearly having doubts about our relationship if our conversation at the hot tub is anything to go by. It physically hurts to think about losing her, so I’ll do anything to show her what she means to me.
