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Marius stepped back without the need for me to ask again. “I have had enough company to understand that something bothers you, Jak.”
Something had bothered me, but I was not prepared to tell Marius of the company I had shared in his room. Victorya. Now, with Marius before me, I realised just how affected I had been from the interaction. Mother was usually the one to remind me of the heavy pressure of my fate. Now, with her far away, I had a phantom of a young girl to do it in her place.
“And what do you want for me to do? Spill my heart to you?”
“Jak, you do not need to do anything you are not comfortable with. Not with me.” His voice was as soft as the expression he made. He took another step back, reluctantly. “I was simply asking.”
I thrashed out with my tone, rather than fists as I wished. “Stop that.”
One brow raised in confusion above his concerned gaze. “I fear to ask what I must stop doing.”
“You speak in such a way that I do not want to hear. Just stop.”
Marius’s expression melted slightly, his jaw clenching as he regarded my outburst. “If you do not want to hear what I have to say, you are welcome to leave.”
Leave. And where would I go? Back to the room, or to another empty place filled with the ghosts of his past? I could not return home, and he knew it. It was strange how quickly the anger took hold within me. Just in time for Marius to close the gap between us, only stopped by the thump of my fist against his chest.
“Get away from me,” I warned.
Before I could pound upon him a second time, he caught my fists in his hands. The length of his fingers and width of his palms encased my fists as if they were small apples. His strength was unwavering. His touch cold.
“My kindness offends you?” Marius asked, his grip tightening as I tried to pull free from him. “If you want me to be a beast, then ask me.”
“I want you to be…” I couldn’t say it. Not aloud.I want you to be easy to hate.
There it was. The truth that spilled out in my mind, a fact that spurred fear in me far greater than thebeastMarius warned of. Marius was nothing like he was supposed to be. Nothing how I was lead, taught, to believe.
“Do not plead shyness now, Jak, go on. Say it.” His voice deepened as he hoisted me towards him, my chest crashing into his. He released my hands, wrapped his arm around the curve of my back and held me close. He leaned down until his face was a breath away from mine. “Tell me what you want from me.”
“Release me.” I forced as much command into my tone, but failed as my voice cracked.
“Make me believe what you ask of me.” A snarl erupted from the pits of his stomach as his lip curled over his teeth. Two points flashed in warning.
“Release… me, Marius.” Even I could hear how my own tone conspired against me.
I could hardly breathe as I lost myself in his ruby gaze. Deep down I fell through the darkness that curled inside of him. Somewhere in the distance I felt the four elements sing to me. But there was no siren call that would distract me from him.
Marius leaned down, and as he moved I could not take my focus from his mouth. The dream I had filled my mind, and twisted my stomach in knots, sending thrilling warmth through my chest, my stomach, my entire being.
Perhaps this was all it was. A dream. One of him, and his awfully cold touch, pressed against my body. But I knew that was simply wishful thinking.
Thoughts were almost impossible to hold onto as Marius’s lips tightened as he spoke again. “If you want me to release you, perhaps you should release me first.”
My entire body chilled as I realised what he spoke of. My arms were wrapped far around the lower half of his broad back, grasping onto him. My knuckles tensed as I fisted his jacket and kept him pressed to me.
But even as his words sunk in, I did not release him.
“I—” There were no words to speak, only the muffled spluttering of a sound as I pushed myself onto my toes. Marius’s stare was intense, but so was the thrashing river of my heart that I’d lost my control upon.
Then, without thinking further, I crashed my lips into his. Marius’s entire body stiffened in response. Enough to make me regret my actions immediately. But before I could pull away, his demeanour relaxed and he melted into me like butter over an open flame.
Only our lips danced together at first. Until his tongue slowly eased itself into my mouth, parting my lips and coaxing my own to join in. A waltz we both partook in.
I finally relaxed my hold on him, busying my free hands by running them up his torso. His shirt rumpled upwards to expose the cold, hard touch of his midriff. Marius’s hands held me close, one even reaching for the back of my neck to hold me in place.
I sensed his want to keep me trapped.
But I was not going anywhere.
