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He seems taken aback by my tone as well. He blinks before he states calmly, "Nothing that he didn't already know, dear."
My heart is wrenching within me. Poor Nick! I could just imagine what my father said to him, the way he'd probably talked to him in his high-handed manner, warning him away from me, telling him that he's not good enough for me.
Nick hasn't been ignoring me because he doesn't want me.
He's been doing it because he wants what's best for me. He truly loves me.
I feel tears prick my eyes as I burst out, "I love him!"
My mother's head snaps up, and my father's eyes narrow at my outburst.
"Jennifer," my mother begins softly, pleadingly, "think about what you're saying. You can't possibly have a life with this man. He's a felon for God's sake."
"No, he's not," I instantly rush to his defense, "or haven't you been comprehending what you've been watching on the news? He's been exonerated. He's innocent. He did time for a crime he didn't commit, all to protect his brother." If anything, that spoke of a deeply rooted honor my parents couldn't even comprehend.
My heart is suddenly near to bursting with love for Nick, and I jump up from my chair.
My father stands with me, eyeing me warily. "Where are you going, Jenny?"
"Where does Nick live?" I ask him.
His eyes fall, and his lips press into a thin line.
"I know you know, Dad. If you had him investigated, you know. I'll find him with or without your help. It would be safer if I had your help, though," I point out, playing the safety card, hoping that will get him to 'fess up.
It does. When he takes in the stubborn set to my jaw, he realizes it's useless to try to stop me.
He still tries again, "We wanted so much more for you, Jenny."
I soften. I know my parents love me. I know they only want what's best for me. "Do you love Mom?" I ask him.
"More than anything," he answers immediately as he takes her hand, almost instinctively.
"Would you still love her if she was poor? Would you still want to be with her?"
My parents share a look. My mom's face is suddenly tender and full of sympathy, and my dad's is filled with defeat. His shoulders slump. He knows he's lost.
He tells me Nick's address, and I fly out of the house.
* * *
Nick
I feel like all the light has been snuffed out of my life. I should be celebrating. I've been exonerated. The governor issued me an official pardon already. I'm no longer considered a felon. I have my life back.
Except that it means nothing without my little elf. Without Jenny.
I've sat here in my apartment all alone for the past two days. I got drunk the first. I just sat here morose the second, replaying every memory I have of her. I know her father's right. I'm not good enough for her, and I never will be—felony status gone aside. I'm still not enough for her. I'm not rich. I'm not well-bred.
I'm still a street rat.
I've been mourning the loss of my brother too, though truth be told I think I lost my brother a long time ago. I don't know what happened to make him snap, but he turned into someone I didn't recognize years ago.
I don't know what I'm going to do. Everything inside me is telling me to go get my girl, but I have to do what's best for her. Isn't that real love? Sacrificing what you want most for the good of the person you love?
I saw Jenny's missed calls, and while it killed me not to answer her when she was calling for me, I couldn't bear to hear her telling me she never wanted to see me again because I know that's what she was going to say. She'd probably chew me a new one for lying to her, for not telling her upfront who she let take her virginity.
I can't be sorry about that, though. In my mind she's still mine. I don't know how the fuck I'll bear it if she moves on and starts dating other men—and she will because Jenny is too beautiful to be alone. I'll probably put a bullet straight through my fucking head to put me out of my misery.
