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I can’t believe that just happened.
I shake uncontrollably, lurching unsteadily on my feet, retching. Sour bile burns my throat and taints my mouth. I spit and wipe at my mouth, confused when my hand comes away wet. Tears are streaming down my face, and I didn’t even realise.
I stand, glued to the spot, numb.
I don’t know what to do. Where to go. Adrenaline courses through my body. Somehow I manage to shakily make my way back towards the school, heels and handbag in hand, hoping that the car’s still waiting for me. It should be, it will be, but the adrenaline has my thinking all screwed up. I need to get out of here before it all kicks off. Before I get caught. I think I already hear sirens in the distance, but I don’t know if they’re for the fire or the murder.
Murder.
Holy shit I’m a murderer.
Fuck.
I stop and empty my stomach all over the path. I just want to curl up on the ground. I genuinely believe that it was him or me situation, though. The look in his eyes absolutely terrified me. I’m more shaken by that than his death I think. I guess I just had more to live for when that fight or flight instinct kicked in.
Part of me now desperately wants to go back to the chapel to make sure the guys are okay - that they made it out. But I can’t. I have to see this through to the very end. I have to stay strong. I have to believe that they’re all fine. Safe. I don’t care if my heart’s telling me that I love - am in love - with those four amazing guys. They all have to pay for what they did to Lizzie, and if the only way I can hurt them is by vanishing, I will. Every last one of them has to pay, no matter what the consequences are, no matter how much it hurts me to do it.
I’m close to veering off towards the chapel anyway when the car comes into sight. I sprint for the black town car and quickly scramble into the back seat. As soon as I’m in, the car pulls away and the phone in the rear rings. I reach for it and answer, knowing who it is.
“It’s done,” I tell her, taking a deep breath in an attempt to hide my shaky voice.
“Good. And the other thing you were worried about?” The voice at the end of the phone is clipped, uncaring, harsh even.
I reach into my small clutch bag that I’ve somehow managed to keep hold of despite everything I’ve been through tonight and pull out the small piece of white plastic that’s shaped like a pen. I look down at the little pink X in the window. A bittersweet smile spreads across my lips.
“Confirmed. But-”
“Don’t worry, everything will work out fine. I promise. The car will take you to the private airfield and fly you out to meet me. It’s time for me to take care of you. Both of you.”
The line goes dead, and I settle back into the plush leather seat, knowing I have a couple of hours drive ahead. I stare at the positive pregnancy test in my hands, turning it over and over in my hands. It wasn’t my idea, wasn’t planned, but now that I’m carrying the child of one of the four princes, I’m not sorry at all. I don’t know whose it is, and I don’t care. I’ll love this child no matter what. It won’t replace Lizzie or the baby that she lost, but I’ll ensure their memories live on.
My plans for the future have once again changed. But this time I don’t mind at all. I’m tired. A year of vengeance has really taken it out of me. I’m glad it’s done and that I’ve managed to come away unscathed - more or less - in the process. I’d hoped that leaving West Prep would mean the end of the lies and the deceit, but now I realise that when I meet up with her, I’m going to have to hide how I really feel about each of the four princes. I’m going to have to hide that my heart’s breaking. But if my year walking in Lizzie’s footsteps has taught me one thing? It’s that I’m nothing if not resilient.
Fake it until you make it, Raven Deighton.
I relax back and close my eyes, gently rubbing my still-flat tummy, wondering what my - our - future will hold.
