AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“We broke up. Happens all the time.” He’s not lying, but he’s holding back on me, I can tell. I don’t want to push him to a point where he feels he has to lie to me, so I let that one go. For now.
“Okay then... will you tell me about... Lizzie instead?”
“What do you want to know?” He has a guarded look in his dark espresso eyes that wasn’t there before. In this low light, they almost look black and foreboding. The scowl on his face and the shadows cast by his sharp features make him look intensely menacing. Which thrills me.
“What was she like?” I ask softly.
“She was amazing. She wasn’t just beautiful, she was a walking contradiction.” I watch how his face lights up and relaxes as he starts to talk about her.
“How do you mean?” I’m intrigued, wanting this secret insight into my sister’s mystery life away from me.
“She looked like a tiny ethereal sprite like a strong gust of wind would blow her away, but inside she was strong. She had a steely core. She was softly spoken and kind, but she wasn’t a doormat. She didn’t take any crap from any of us, but she was never mean. She was stunning but truly oblivious to the charm she had over everyone. Her innocence was refreshing in a place like this, and yet she was so sure of herself and who she was that she seemed mature beyond her years. She was awe-inspiring.” His voice is soft and reverential like whispering in a place of worship. It warms me to hear her spoken of in such a way. He’s described her exactly as I would have.
“Were you in love with her?”
“It was impossible not to love her. It would have been very easy to fall in love with Lizzie. She had an energy that drew you to her - a lot like you do actually - and she was so inherently good, that she made you want to be and do better for her. I could happily have spent the rest of my life trying to put a smile on her face trying to be worthy of her love and affection.”
“Sounds exhausting.”
“I think it would’ve been. Love should make you want to be a better person, but not at the expense of you not feeling good enough. That’s why I don’t think I was in love with her, not yet anyway.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
“I can’t speak for everyone else, but no, I didn’t sleep with her. We didn’t have that passionate, want to rip your clothes off all the time kind of relationship. It was sweet and loving. I cared for her deeply.” I don’t know if I’m relieved or...jealous. I’m beyond happy that I’m not entering into a relationship with a guy or guys who’ve slept with my sister, but at the same time, the way Jax talks about what he had with Lizzie makes me feel sad that we won’t ever share that kind of relationship. Ours will be purely physical. It’s just business. He just doesn’t know it yet.
I have to shake myself and remind myself that I don’t want a deep and meaningful soul connection with any of these guys. I want to destroy them for hurting my sister. But it doesn’t sound like they did hurt her...not really. If she did kill herself, it has to be for a different reason. And if she didn’t kill herself, who did? And why?
“If you felt that strongly for her, how were you just okay with sharing her?”
“I wasn’t. Not at first. We all fought a lot. We competed a lot. It’s really pathetic to think back on, but we were young and stupid. I think we probably made her pretty miserable for a while with our behaviour, but when we realised that what we were doing was upsetting her so much, we stopped fighting and competing and vying for her attention.”
“And what? Everything just fell into place?”
“Far from it. We decided to let Lizzie choose which of us she wanted.”
“And did she?”
“She couldn’t. Us asking her to choose, well, it nearly killed her... sorry that’s in poor taste given what happened...”
“Do you really think she killed herself?” I ask, changing the direction of the conversation.
“I don’t, no,” he admits.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know what reason she would’ve had. Things between us all were sorted, good by then. We made sure communication was at the heart of our relationships; she would’ve come to us if she was having doubts or struggling.”
“What if it was something outside of the relationship? Would she have kept that a secret?” I probe.
“I wouldn’t like to think so, but I guess she must have. Everyone has secrets, no one ever gives them self to another person 100%. No one ever truly knows another person. I just wish she’d felt like she could’ve come to one - or even all - of us. Whatever trouble she was in, we would’ve helped her.”
“Do you miss her?” Changing direction again.
“Everyday. But I don’t think we’d still be together if she were here. Not all of us anyway. I could see her being with Ace. They’d go together and compliment each other well. Both good people. Well suited. Me and Lizzie, it was a fairytale, but it wasn’t built to last.” He sounds almost sad, but resigned, at that.
I stand and stretch, yawning. I’m happy with the answers I’ve gotten here tonight, but it’s late, and I need to get to bed.
“Raven, I...” I pause and turn to him, waiting for him to finish. “Did you and Ace sleep together?” he asks. There’s no hint of judgement or disapproval, jealousy or intrigue in his voice. There’s...nothing.
