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“Okay... Jax? Where do you stand on all of this?” I can’t read his face.
“Look, I’ll be honest with you,” he sighs deeply, “I don’t think this is going to work.”
Before I can ask why - which is just as well because the lump in my throat and the tears threatening to spill would prevent me anyway - the other three guys jump in to give him hell.
“Hang on, hang on,” he holds his hands up in defence, “I want it to work, but I just can’t face another Lizzie situation. Can you?” he asks the guys. And I watch in horror as their faces start to waver.
“It’s not like Lizzie though, is it?” Thorn asks. “We never got that far. We never talked. We never knew this could be an option.”
“I’m not Lizzie,” I say quietly. “I don’t know what she would’ve done in this situation, but I can speak for myself, and even if this doesn’t work out in the long run, I’d like to try. But only if all four of you are on board. I don’t want to create a rift between you.” I can’t believe I’m saying - and meaning - that.
Rebel and Thorn look relieved, and Ace seems made up. But Jax still looks uncertain. It’s like an arrow piercing through my chest.
“Let’s wait...” I nod to show I understand what he’s referring to, “I’ll take you on a date, and we can see where things go. Then after we... you can decide if you still want to include me in that equation.”
“Okay,” I tell him. I’m a little apprehensive, but I’m not about to show any doubt or fear. “It’s a date.” I yawn and check my watch, realising it’s late.
“It’s getting late, I should probably go.” I really don’t want to. Every time I come here, it’s harder and harder to leave; I know it’s not good, but I’ve decided to just embrace it and see where things go.
“You can stay if you like,” Rebel offers.
“In my room?” I ask.
“Anywhere you like,” Jax confirms.
“Anywhere? Even with you Jax?” I’m teasing, but actually, I realise that’s exactly what I want. Even if we can’t do anything, I suddenly desperately want to get closer to this enigmatic boy.
“Yes. If that’s what you want.” He looks at me like he doesn’t believe I could possibly want to stay with him like I’m messing with him.
“Please.” He blinks in surprise before nodding his assent. I smile shyly before getting to my feet. May as well go to bed now. I steal a quick glance at the other three guys, but there’s really no jealousy there. They look happy. Okay, I’m just going to go with the flow.
I walk over to Ace and give him a big hug, then I kiss Thorn goodnight, and Rebel pulls me into his lap - good god is he always hard? It must be painful - before whispering in my ear that he was serious about the group sex. I smack him on the arm and bite his lip by way of goodnight. He chuckles and releases me, slapping my ass as I go.
I hurry over to Jax, who was watching the whole exchange. His face is closed off and guarded, but he gives me a smile when I reach him and holds out his hand for me to take, which I do. I follow him up the stairs and into his bedroom, which is next to mine. I’ve been in here before, but I still glance around to see if anything’s changed. It doesn’t appear to have, though there are fresh sheets on the bed. Their smell fills the air.
Jax closes the door then turns to me. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, do you want to use the bathroom first, and I’ll look you out something to sleep in?”
“Sweats will be fine,” I smile.
“No, you can have a shirt, I don’t have many pairs of sweats left for some reason,” he teases, and his smile brightens his whole face. Joking Jax - that’s new! I like it a lot. It’s nice to see him relax a little. I hurry into the bathroom and get sorted, and when I come out, Jax hands me a T-shirt. He heads into the bathroom, so I quickly change, folding my clothes and placing them on the chair in the corner. Then I stand awkwardly in the room; it feels too strange to just dive into his bed without invite, so I study the beautiful black and white photos on his walls instead. I’m not sure, but I think they’ve changed since the last time I was in here.
“They’re new,” he tells me, coming out of the bathroom and making me jump. I turn to look at him, and when I see that he’s wearing just boxers my mouth waters. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I don’t know if I have the self-control to stay away from him for the next week.
“I took those last week when we weren’t around much. I used your camera.”
“It’s your camera,” I correct, “But they’re amazing. Is that the woods on campus?” I ask, pointing to one.
“It is.”
“Wow. I love it.”
“Come on, it’s too cold to stand around,” he says, pulling back the covers and sliding into bed. He pats the space next to him, and I join him. The sheets are cool on my bare legs, and I snuggle into Jax to steal his body heat. He doesn’t complain, popping an arm around my waist and pulling me in closer so that I’m tucked up against him. The press of his hard cock against his boxers is nestled against my bare ass where the shirt has ridden up. I squirm.
“Er, Jax...”
