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“Where?” His tone is at least polite.
“We went to Wicked Wonder World,” I reply calmly.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“A kids’ play place.” Still easy enough to explain.
“You took that little girl?”
“Yes.” I don’t feel the need to elaborate. I can see Jax is desperate to jump in with questions but Thorn blocks him again.
“Where is she now?”
“In the flat upstairs. With my neighbour.”
“Does she live there?” I can hear the hope in Thorn’s voice that this will be a simple answer. As much as I love Phoenix, I don’t want to cause Thorn pain; I wish I could tell him she’s a neighbour’s child I was simply babysitting. But I can’t do that. I wouldn’t.
I hesitate.
“Who is she?” Jax finally manages to demand.
“Her name is Phoenix, and she’s my daughter.” My tone is defiant. I am not ashamed. Far from it; she’s my greatest accomplishment.
“What the fuck?!” Jax explodes. “You have a fucking kid and you didn’t think to fucking mention it?”
His outburst - when he used to be so unflappable, so cool - has me reeling.
“Is she ours?” he demands.
“What?” I scoff, “all four of yours?”
“You know what I fucking mean!”
“Do you realise how ridiculous you sound right now? I haven’t seen any of you in years!”
“Answer the question. How old is she?”
I take a deep breath. It’s okay, I knew this question would come. I just have to be convincing.
“She’s three. Just,” I lie.
I can’t tell them she’s nearly four. I just can’t. What would be the point? No one needs that pain and heartache. And besides, knowing her true age wouldn’t help any of them figure out if they’re her father or not. I don’t even know.
I see the four faces in front of me mentally doing the math. Thorn looks relieved, whereas Rebel looks upset. I can’t figure out why. Ace is frowning slightly, like my dates don’t quite add up with when he saw me at the airport. He’s right of course; probably wondering why I’m lying. Does he still think Baxter is the father? Would Ace be wondering why I’m protecting him?
I catch his eye and silently beg him not to say anything, but then I realise that he won’t, because he doesn’t want to reveal his deceit either.
“Who’s Phoenix’s father?” Jax demands, getting my back up. He’s just worked out that she’s not, that she can’t be, any of theirs, so why does it matter?
“That isn’t any of your business.” My voice is icy, steady, strong. Everything I’m not.
“Why didn’t you tell us you have a kid?” Jax spits. He says ‘kid’ like it’s the dirtiest word in the world, which considering he recently called me a cold-blooded killer, is saying something.
“Why would I? It’s nothing to do with you. You turned up demanding answers and didn’t ask a single question about how I am, who I am, or what my life is like now!” I exclaim in return. I hear the emotional wobble in my voice and cringe. I hate to show weakness.
“Why was Rebel with you though?” Thorn asks, changing topic slightly. It calms me. A little.
My eyes cut to Rebel wondering what I should say. Does he want them to know that he’s been sneaking back to see me? I didn’t realise it was a secret, but obviously their reactions today tell me it was.
