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“Actually, Mr Branson-” she begins.
“Baxter,” I insist with a charming, practiced smile.
“B-Baxter.” She stumbles over her words and I can’t quite work out if it’s an act, or if she’s just that awe-struck by me. Either way it’s pathetic. “I was wondering, I’m sure you don’t, but maybe if you did…”
“Breathe, love,” I tell her, capturing her hands and staring intently into her eyes. It has the opposite effect, as I intended, and she lets out a weird swooning noise. I bite my tongue to keep from laughing. In my periphery, I see Jax doing the same.
“Sorry!” She takes a deep breath to calm herself. “What I meant to say was, I help to run a charity for orphaned children, and I would really love if someone of your calibre could get involved with us!”
I beam at her.
“I’d love to get involved with you,” I gently stress the difference between her and the charity. Her cat-like smile tells me she caught it. “I was just thinking about how I would like to do more philanthropic work.” I hear Jax snort behind a fake cough. “And I adore kids!” I add as an afterthought.
“Oh me too,” she gushes.
“Why don’t I give you my number and you can call me to discuss something at a time that better suits you,” I say, indicating Jax. She looks shocked to see him sitting there still. “I’m sorry to intrude on your date,” I remind her that she’s taken, “Jaxon, you are one lucky son-of-a-bitch! Look after this one, she’s a real gem!”
I wink, kiss her hand once more, and depart.
Inside, I’m laughing about how easy it is.
Charlotte’s Diary
Phoenix’s birth
04/02/20
She’s so tiny. I don’t know how I’ve managed to make something so perfect. I’ve never been in love like this before. The feelings overwhelm me. Why didn’t anyone warn me what it would be like? Nothing could have prepared me for this.
So many feelings! So much fear. The need to keep her safe, to give her the best life possible, to do right by her, to fix all the fucked-up relationships that I’ve left in my wake...it’s crippling and overwhelming at the same time. She shouldn’t have to suffer because I’m a train wreck.
I can’t help but wish things were different as I watch him cradle her in his huge arms. She looks even tinier next to him. He looks absolutely smitten. It’s love at first sight for him. He smiles at her like she’s his own.
Things would be so much easier, so much simpler, if that were true. If I could just feel that way towards him. He’s been my absolute rock. I don’t think either of us would be here today if it weren’t for his help, support and friendship. Who knew it would be him?
He hasn’t pressured me at all, but I know he wants me to reach out to Cordelia. I’m not ready to have a relationship with her yet, but I can’t deny her one with her great-grandchild. Phoenix Elizabeth.
I’ll call her.
Soon.
