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Chapter Three
Jax
Fucking Rebel. I slam my phone down in annoyance. I really thought we were done with this shit once and for all, but no, it seems like every time I think we’re through and we can finally all move on, that bitch reaches out and drags us all back into hell. I grind my teeth and seethe silently for a minute, allowing myself this moment.
Raven Fucking Deighton. The girl that I’ve wasted four years of my life on, in one way or another. I knew right from the start that getting involved with her was a bad idea, but I stupidly allowed myself to get sucked in and wrapped up in the whirlwind like the others did. And then she vanished. It wasn’t a carbon copy of the Lizzie situation, but it might as well have been: we all fell for a girl, she’s no longer in our lives. It fucking hurts. And although I’ve done my absolute best to forget her and move on, the others just can’t let it lie - no, they insisted on dragging me back into the drama. Every. Single. Time.
We didn’t even know where she was, and she was ruling - and ruining - my life all over again. Part of me hopes that this time Rebel has managed to track her down. I don’t know what Rebel hopes to achieve by hunting the girl who doesn’t want to be found, but I would like to get answers so I can be done with her once and for all. In all honesty though, the way I feel right now, I’d actually be scared of what I might do to hurt her if I was around her. So maybe it’s best if it’s another false alarm.
Part of me dreams of making her pay for everything she put us through for the last four years. I want to punish her for the pain and hurt that she’s caused. I dream of making her beg for forgiveness, to spend a lifetime earning it. But that’s too dangerous. The best I can hope for at this point is answers. And then I will walk away. I’m not a fucking masochist; I won’t willingly put myself through that hell again.
With that final sentiment held firmly in my mind, I take a deep breath and force myself to cool down. Calmer, I pick up my phone once again and set to finding flights for Ace, Thorn and myself. Once done, I book us into a hotel. I don’t fancy crashing on the couch of some fresher like Rebel seems to be doing. And I certainly won’t be in any of their beds. Since...I don’t even want to think her name...my bed has been empty. I go elsewhere to find my release. I know Ace has been virtually celibate. Thorn seems to have gone the other way, turning into a total man whore; acting as if he can fuck the pain of losing her away. And I have no idea what Rebel does. I know Thorn drags him out most nights as a wingman, but I never hear Rebel boasting about conquests the way Thorn does. I expect he’s like me, somewhere in the middle between Thorn and Ace’s behaviours.
I quickly rattle off a group text to everyone with the morning’s flight times and details, and then throw some stuff in a carry on bag. Reb had moaned about the cold wet weather so I pack layers and a jacket. I think we’ll only be gone a few days at most, so it’s not like I need much. Done, I set my alarm and head to bed, wondering why Rebel waited until it was so late to call us.
***
Somehow I manage to sleep through my alarm the next morning. It’s unlike me. I blame this trip, and Rebel’s call, for making me toss and turn all night. No matter how much I didn’t want to think of her, she ended up filling my dreams all night long. I sigh, exhausted, and stumble around my flat in more of a hurry than I like.
I meet Thorn and Ace at the airport. I blink in horror as Thorn tries to extract himself from his...date? I’m being polite, it was his lay for the night and I highly doubt he took her out first. I can’t help but stare at their exchange. She looks a mess; in last night’s clothes which may have been well-suited to whatever seedy club he picked her up in, but here as we wait to go into the first class lounge, they just look tawdry and cheap. She stands out like a neon sign, and not in a good way. I’m getting impatient, tapping my foot, when he finally manages to break free. Without a backwards glance he storms past Ace and me into the lounge, and we quickly follow.
“Why the hell did you bring her here?” I demand once I join him in the lounge. The three of us are the only ones in here. I guess there’s not much call for first class tickets on an internal flight.
“I couldn’t get rid of her! Believe me I tried. Last night I had no idea that she’d turn out to be a stage-five clinger. I had to tell her the flight was fully booked because she wanted to come with us!” I stare at him in total disbelief. How he can go from having a girl like Raven, to one night stands with chicks like that is absolutely beyond me. I shake my head at him and get myself a drink from the liquor cabinet.
“Bit early to be drinking isn’t it?” Thorn smirks at me.
“Fuck off.” I snap. Ace has remained silent throughout the whole exchange and I study him closely, trying to gauge if he’s alright. Whilst there’s no denying that Rebel is still head over heels crazy for Raven, Ace has always been quiet on the matter since the day we decided to stop searching for her. I know that he was in love with her - probably still is - and I can’t help but wonder where his head is at right now.
I sigh and take a sip of my drink. It’s tough being the leader of the group. I’m responsible for all the organisation and practicalities. I feel a heavy weight of responsibility to make sure that my brothers are alright and to check in on them. Ace is difficult to read, but I know he must be anxious about this trip. Thorn is a fucking mess. I’m actually worried about him. Rebel causes me so much stress that I get migraines. And here I am, not knowing how I feel about the whole thing.
Thankfully, I don’t have to sit and examine my feelings for too long, as we’re called to our flight. As soon as I slip into place and fasten my seatbelt, my lids flutter closed.
When they next open it’s because Ace is gently tapping my arm and telling me we’ve just touched down. I shake off my sleep and glance at Thorn. He’s half-cut. Fucking great. Why couldn’t he find anything else to do during our short flight except hit the free drinks trolley? As we disembark, I take that back, noticing several of the crew pass him their numbers. I guess he did find several things - or women - to do during the flight. I pinch the bridge of my nose for a moment to calm myself and then rub a hand quickly over my jaw. For fucks’ sake. It’s like having an unruly dog. I try to keep him on a leash but it doesn’t make the blindest bit of difference. Like a dog, he’ll hump anything that moves.
Thankfully we cleared the airport fairly quickly, and Rebel is waiting for us in his new Land Rover in the pick-up zone outside. I slide into the front passenger seat, fold my arms and blink expectantly at Rebel. He waits until we’re out of the airport grounds before speaking.
“I’m glad you guys came. You won’t regret it.”
“Where have I heard that before?” Thorn grumbles, and I agree. We’ve been here too many times to count now. Ace says nothing, just stares out of the window at the scenery for a moment.
“Huh.” He sighs.
“What?” I turn to look at him frowning out of the window.
“Disappointed.” He grunts.
“Why?”
“Expected more green.”
“Oh,” Rebel says. “Well, Edinburgh is a city. And the airport isn’t too far out of town so it’s not that green. Like any other city I guess, just older. You’ll like The Mile, I think. I guess if you want to see green we could take a trip to the highlands.”
“Hang on,” I interject. “We’re not here for a sightseeing holiday. And we’re not here indefinitely. You have something to show us.” I point out.
“Yeah and when you realise that this is the real deal this time, you’re not going to want to leave.”
“I’m only here - if you’re right this time - for answers. And then I’m gone. The past needs to be laid to rest. Besides, she might not even want to see us. She might have a boyfriend and a whole new life.”
