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“Shut up!” she cries, real tears forming in her eyes. Anger rumbles through my chest like thunder. I want to hurt Baxter for upsetting her. I may have inadvertently started it, but he’s the one pushing it. Whatever it is.
“Come clean about what?” Thorn asks. I can hear the confusion in his voice, his easygoing smile that’s only been back in place since we found Raven, is already gone.
“Will someone explain what the fuck is going on!” I yell, losing my patience.
“Please! Don’t do this,” Raven begs. She’s shaking her head and imploring...Bax? Jax?
Are they all in on it? Thorn is clearly as puzzled as I am, but Ace just looks desperately unhappy. Resigned. Whatever this is, he knows.
“You are such a fucking hypocrite, Raven!” Jax snarls with venom. It’s so unexpected I blink in shock. “After I said I didn’t want secrets between us! You made me feel like you couldn’t forgive me when it’s you that needs to beg for forgiveness all along!”
“Hold on, what did you do?” I demand, pressing him.
“Yeah, why are you asking for forgiveness? What secrets?” Thorn seethes. Like me, he’s pissed at being left out of the loop.
“Tell them, Jax. Thought you were going to come clean? Not such high morals after all!” Raven taunts him. It’s almost good to see the fight back in her, but I have no idea what’s set her off.
“Someone fucking explain, right now!” I holler.
There’s a beat of silence and then Raven speaks.
“Jax is responsible for Lizzie’s death. He set the bullies on her.”
“When did you call them off Jax?” Raven demands. “At what point exactly did you ask those girls to stop their vile hate campaign?”
“Was it when they broke her ankle?” she continues. “No, it must have been later, after the dates started to happen. Did you approve their ideas for torturing her yourself? Hell, maybe you even came up with a few! I bet the toxic cocktail was your doing!”
“Jax?” Thorn asks. “What is she on about? Is any of this true?”
“Guys, I didn’t want to tell you like this,” Jax starts to say.
“Just tell me when!” Raven screams at him. “You want forgiveness? How can I forgive you until I know exactly what you’ve done?”
“Don’t do this, Raven,” Jax warns. “You do not want to relive Lizzie’s world of pain.”
“It was after you started dating her, wasn’t it? I bet in the early days your dates were just to get more info on her.” Raven presses.
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. If what she’s saying is true...fuck! I stare at Jax: my best friend, my brother, a stranger. That’s when it hits me. Right after Lizzie quit the swim team, he was so different, so messed up for weeks. We just had no idea why. He played it off that his stepmom was giving him shit. But..but...
“Shit! When she quit the swim team?” I ask. I don’t have to say a word more because Jax’s guilt-ridden eyes lock on mine.
“You were responsible for that?” Raven’s voice has dropped. The fight leaves her and she shrinks.
“It was an accident - please I never meant - it got way out of hand and as soon as I found out, I tried to stop it!”
“What the fu…” Thorn begins but I don’t hear anymore because I’m roaring, my blood is roaring, and I’m flying across the room and launching myself at Jax.
My huge hands find their way to his throat and circle his neck easily. I squeeze and I shake him back and forth, rattling his teeth in his head. I want to kill him. I will kill him.
What. The. Fuck.
“Explain!” I bellow right in his face, spit flying everywhere. I don’t give a fuck. He killed Lizzie? Surely not?
But my reaction was so instinctual, that something inside of me must know that Raven isn’t lying. No, not lying, she could be confused. It could be a misunderstanding. That’s what I try to tell myself, but my fingers continue to restrict Jax’s air flow, to the point that his complexion is changing, so my subconscious knows it’s true. No matter how much I'd like to deny it. No, Raven must be right. The question is why?
Thorn is scrambling at my shoulder to get his hands on Jax too. Together we could easily kill him. Maybe I want to. Why?
I cared for Lizzie, sure. But killing Jax now wouldn’t bring her back. So why do I care so much? It’s the sobs from Raven that give me my answer: Jax has hurt the woman I love, and I need to make him pay for that.
