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“Erm...yeah…”
“So it’s ironic you moron.” He snorts.
“If you say so,” Kalen replies in a tone which clearly says he doesn’t believe him. “Show me your dick to prove otherwise.”
“I’m not showing you my dick! I barely know you.”
“But you would if we were better acquainted?” Kalen grins.
“Babygirl! Make him stop talking,” Smalls begs me.
“Oh, no.” I laugh. “You got yourself into this one big guy, you can get yourself out of it.”
“Well, at least tell him my cock isn’t small!”
“How the hell would Milly know what your cock is like, Smalls?” My brother growls, instantly getting riled up.
We freeze like kangaroos caught in headlights, eyes locked on one another. Aadi might know about our repressed feelings for one another after the Christmas Day debacle, but he doesn’t know about that one time we slept together after my attack.
“Don’t be a moron. We lived together and you guys are gross. I’ve seen you both naked more times than I’d care to count!” I laugh nervously. “You need to use a towel when you shower.”
Aadi glowers at us like he isn’t buying it, but lets it slide, much to my relief. Thankfully, Kalen’s annoying tendency to over talk kicks back in and distracts us all. Thank god he didn’t spill my secrets.
“So now that the sad shit is over and done with, our holiday can start properly! I want to do all the proper Australian stuff, live like a real local. I want to eat Vegemite for breakfast, lunch and tea. I want to pet all the dangerous animals. I want to ride kangaroos, see the desert, go surfing, cook shrimp on a barbie, drink Fosters, and get a tan...Where do we start?!”
Aadi, Smalls and I all stare at Kalen in astonishment.
“Wow, Kalen. Did you google Australian stereotypes or something?” I ask.
“Or just how to be a racist ass?” Smalls joins in.
“Milly, where the fuck did you find this cunt?” Aadi asks, shaking his head.
“Dude!” Kalen gasps, looming affronted. “That’s a bit harsh.”
“Cunt means something different here, Kalen. We sprinkle that shit around like confetti. It’s practically a term of endearment.”
“So if I call you my sweet little cunt—”
“Try calling my sister that and let’s see how many teeth you still have,” Aadi yells, jumping to his feet, his chair scraping noisily across the floor.
“Okay!” I jump in, trying to keep the peace. “I’m calling time out. Kalen, we actually have a birthday party to arrange. Chelsea’s niece is six tomorrow and we’re holding the party here this weekend. You can help me get things ready today.”
“A kid’s party?” He wrinkles his nose up in distaste. “That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for living it up down under!”
“Well, you wanted the authentic Australian experience so you’re going to get it. Family means everything here, so get on board with that and shut the fuck up.”
“Aye aye, Captain.” He salutes me, sarcastic little shit.
“Be good, or I won’t let you have any Fairy Bread.”
