AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“It wasn’t like that. I know what you’re thinking because you know what he was like, but it wasn’t...he didn’t...we were dating.”
“That doesn’t mean shit.”
“Okay, so maybe I thought I was ready and I wasn’t, but I definitely consented. So calm the fudge down, I’m freaking out enough already.”
“Fudge?”
“I have a terrible potty mouth when I’m drunk,” I joke.
“You’re not drunk yet. Have another.” I do. “So...wow. I don’t even know what to say. Let me get this straight: You’ve only had sex a handful of times, all of them we’re horrible, and it was almost a decade ago.”
“Exaggeration.”
“And you’ve no doubt got absolutely no idea about what you’re doing.”
“That part’s true.”
“When was the last time you came?” I don’t answer. “Lumi! Answer the question.”
“I didn’t! It was horrible. There was no way I was coming after...that.”
“Okay, but what about on your own?” I stare blankly at her. “DIY? With a BOB?”
“Bob? Why would I come with Bob? He’s Sapphire’s mate, right? Eww!”
“Oh my god, not with Bob, with aBOB! A battery operated boyfriend?”
I have no idea what she’s talking about.
“A fucking vibrator Lumi! When was the last time you had a screaming orgasm with a dildo or something similar?”
“Err, never?”
“The fuck? We have to go to The Magical Rooster. You are hopeless.”
“Look. It was horrible. Hor-r-r-r-bile.”
“That’s not the right number of syllables. Or how you pronounce it.”
“I’m scarred for life.” I continue like she never even spoke. “I don’t wanna play with it. I pushed a baby through it. It’s a fucking war zone down there. I don’t even use tampons.”
“What have tampons got to do with anything?”
“I DON’T KNOW BUT I NEED ANOTHER DRINK!!!”
This time Sacha just passes me the bottle and I chug from it. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, I don’t know anything, except...I can’t stand right now. I’ll definitely face plant the floor.
“I know nothing,” I say sadly.
“Well, you can always learn. It’s kinda part of the fun. Do you want to?”
“...maybe?” I say in a small voice.
“Were you at least enjoying yourself with Whit before you freaked out?”
I groan.
“Oh yeah, he’s so fucking sexy. It was hot. Except…”
