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I watch as Johnny’s kid sister storms across the restaurant toward us, leaving Kelly at the bar with the drinks. From the strong set of her shoulders and clenched jaw, it’s clear that she’s absolutely raging, and I wonder what he did to make her so mad. He looks slightly terrified. Was he stupid enough to try to hit on her? Johnny had made his feelings on that crystal clear: no, never, not a snowball’s chance in hell with her.
Not that I care either way. I’m not interested in starting anything with anyone, let alone a relative of Johnny’s. We might be roommates and business partners, but I wouldn’t call us friends. He drives me crazy, so it stands to reason that anyone who shares his DNA will be as annoying and intolerable as he is. Still, that doesn’t mean I can’t relish the show. I’ve been watching his sister get more and more wound up as the evening progresses, and now I’m going to enjoy watching her snap. I won’t lie and say that sight won’t be hot as fuck, what with her in that fucking mini skirt and being all of five foot three.
She hesitates behind Johnny for the tiniest moment, and then slaps him on the back of the head before calling him a thundercunt and sliding back into her seat beside an amused Mica.
“What the hell, Belle? What did you do that for?!” Johnny rubs the back of his head like she just sucker punched him or something.
“You fucking arsebastard, Johnny! Be glad I didn’t smash this bottle over your fucking head, you shitpouch! You said she was sick!”
Oh.
This is going to be more fun than I first thought. She’s not mad at Kelly, she’s mad at Johnny. No, scratch that, more like incensed. Her choice insults for him are entertaining, too.
Mentally, I kick up my feet and grab some popcorn, ready to enjoy the shitshow that’s about to unfold.
“Belle, I—” I hear Johnny’s all too familiar wheedling tone, but Belle cuts him off before he can gain any momentum on his bullshit rollercoaster of lies. Dude invented the fast pass for it.
“Fuck you, jizzstain. Fucking save it, you total dickweed. Eighteen months I waited for that appointment, and then you go and tell Anya that I don’t mind if she cancels on me.” She’s leaning across the table and whisper-yelling at Johnny. It’s no good, most of the restaurant is staring anyway, but she hasn’t noticed.
“Sis, I’m really sorry, I am. I fucked up. Let me fix this,” Johnny begs as Kelly slides into the booth and hands out the beers. Thank fuck they got Corona, IPA tastes like piss water. Johnny takes his and pulls a face. He opens his mouth like he’s about to complain, but one look from Belle has him snapping his mouth shut.
“How are you gonna fix it, you pisskidney? Are you gonna fly out to her vacation and bring her back by morning?”
“Well, no…BUT I already arranged for the guys to do your tattoo for you. And they’re better than Anya.”
I can’t believe this shit magnet thinks that’s gonna be enough to settle her down. I’m incredulous that he can't tell by the look on her face that he needs to stop talking. But then again, Johnny has always been a bonehead where women are concerned. No wonder he can’t even get a read on his own sister.
“No, Johnny, that’s not gonna cut it.” She takes a deep breath, forcing herself to calm, and then continues, “You’re gonna make this up to me. First, you’re going to pay for my tattoo.”
“Done,” Johnny doesn’t hesitate to jump in and agree.
“No, you cumwipe. You’re not going to absorb this into your business costs. You’re going to dip into your pocket and pay these guys using actual cash. From your savings, not the till.”
Johnny looks like he wants to argue, but again, doesn’t dare. I have to admit, she’s got him good there. Johnny’s always tattooing girls for free. He writes it off as a tax-deductible advertisement or something.
“And, they’re charging you double because you’re forcing them to work unsociable hours.” She folds her arms to glower at Johnny in case he protests, but he simply gulps and nods. “Good. Pisswizard. You’ll give them time off in lieu, too. And that’ll be eight grand.”
“What?!” he chokes.
“You’re also reimbursing my flights, at double the cost. So, that’ll be another two grand. And I want my deposit back too.”
“Fine.” He sounds like a broken man, and I admire her for knowing exactly how to hit him where it hurts: his wallet.
“There may be more, once I think of it, but for now, that’ll do.”
“You shouldn’t drink anymore,” Johnny says gently as Belle reaches for her beer.
“I’m over twenty-one now, remember?” she bites back. “Twenty-four, in fact. I recently had a birthday, in case you forgot.”
“I just meant that you shouldn’t drink too much if you’re getting a tattoo tonight.” For the first time all night, he doesn’t sound like he’s being a total dick. He sounds like he might actually care. I know Johnny pretty well, though, and I doubt that's actually it.
“We won’t be touching the ink tonight,” I tell them both as she makes a move to switch to water. “We have planning to do first.”
She smiles at me and drinks her beer, but Johnny still doesn’t seem happy.
Luckily, we’re interrupted by the waitress bringing our food out. Johnny already tried to give Belle shit when she ordered a ribs and wings combo, actually going as far as to suggest she opt for the salad. She looked like she wanted to throat punch him for that comment. She’s practically salivating when her platter is placed in front of her, and she dives in with relish, using her fingers and forgoing any cutlery. There’s a girl after my own heart.
We eat in silence for a while, but eventually the atmosphere thaws a little and the chat starts back up.
