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I don’t even know where I’m heading when I storm out. Only that I need space. Fresh air. A damn drink.
When I reach the lobby and see my bike outside, parked by the curb, I know I shouldn’t…but fuck me, I need to do something dumb and dangerous right now.
“Dev, don’t!” East calls from behind me, but I wrench the doors to our complex open and stride out into the night. East must sprint to catch up or something because his hand lands on my shoulder and he spins me around before I can even get to my bike. “Don’t do this. You’ve been drinking.”
I don’t even answer with words. I circle my shoulder to shrug him off, turning and shoving him away from me with more force than is necessary.
I just need some space.
He comes at me again, something desperate in his expression, and I see red.
My hands curl into fists, and I’m swinging before I even realise it. My punch lands, harder than I’d ever intend, and my brother staggers backwards.
“Fuck off. I’ll be fine,” I scoff, turning to throw my leg over the bike before East can stop me again.
I fish the keys from my pocket and take off. There’s no way I’m giving East time to grab the handlebars or jump in front of me or some shit. I’m not wearing a helmet or a jacket, but I don’t care. I’m feeling reckless. I know if I don’t distract myself with speed right now, I’ll ride over to Callie’s mum’s house and gut the bitch.
I gun the engine and take off down the road with such force that the front wheel lifts a little. My heart jumps into my throat and a wild laugh tears out of me. I don’t bother to correct the bike, pulling back on the handlebars instead to encourage the wheel higher. Red lights are approaching up ahead, but I don’t kill my speed or quit my wheelie.
With a wild whoop and the scream of brakes and horns, I fly through the crossroads, giving zero fucks about the chaos I leave in my wake. When I’m fifty yards clear of the junction, I finally touch back down.
Fuck, yeah, that’s exactly what I needed.
The trouble with adrenaline is it’s addictive. I immediately want more but I know that if I give in to that craving, my life will be on the line tonight. Instead, I slow the engine a little and pull back.
I can’t stop thinking about all of the revelations that came out tonight. Callie’s mum was involved in her abduction. She sold her. Motherfucker. Who the fuck does that? What the fuck is wrong with that woman?! Callie’s her child, her flesh and blood. I’ve come across shitty parents before in my line of work, but she’s something else.
I can’t believe I hit East. I didn’t mean to take my anger out on him. And Tex and Callie...fuck. They had sex.
I didn’t think Callie would ever…
Flashing lights in my mirror distract me and I glance back to see what’s happening. Just a police car going in the opposite direction. I drop my speed a little more just to be safe, and refocus my attention on the road before me. In the dark it’s hard to see the small black shadow that darts out in front of me.
I swerve.
The bike locks up.
I lose control.
I’m thrown into the path of oncoming traffic.
The squeal of brakes. Burning rubber. Impact. Pain. Irony. Darkness.
Some days I want to fight, I really do, but…I don’t know how. I always thought of myself as a strong person but this…it’s too much. Nothing in life, nothing in my shitty, difficult life prepared me for any of this.
And I’m so angry.
It’s been days, if not weeks, and the guys haven’t come for me. Why not? Do I matter so little to them?
My anger is misplaced, I know.
I’m not really angry with the guys. I’m not even angry with Joe – if that’s even his name – it’s myself I’m mad at. How could I be so stupid?
To put so much faith in a stranger. To confide and to care and to fall…
I’ll never forgive myself for this. I only have myself to blame for my situation right now. Maybe I deserve it.
