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Dane leaned back against the counter and felt his insides go numb because he realized the direction Cade was heading.
“You know the kind of fortitude it takes to live a lie for two years? To pretend to be something you’re not and have your life depend on being able to maintain that lie?”
Dane nearly laughed because he did know. He’d been pretending since the day he walked out of his parents’ house that he was everything they said he wasn’t. But the few men he’d been with had seen through him and wielded his self-doubt like a weapon against him. And near the end with Isaac he’d been willing to twist himself into anything Isaac wanted to keep his love, but even that hadn’t been enough. And now his desire to be enough for Jax was causing him to implode.
“Two years and he didn’t break. Not once. But you. You managed to break him in less than a week,” Cade said coldly. Dane flinched at the anger he heard in the other man’s voice. “He told me you thought he was shit.”
Dane felt tears sting his eyes. He knew Jax had felt that way because Jax had admitted it. It had been foolish to think that Dane could be forgiven for inflicting such cruelty on the man. It had been foolish to think a lot of things.
“He deserves better than you,” Cade muttered in disgust.
“Cade!”
Dane didn’t bother to lift his head at the sound of Jax’s voice. But he did step in front of Jax when he started to go after his friend.
“Don’t.” He let his hand rest on Jax’s chest. “Just don’t.” He glanced over his shoulder at Cade who’d stood at Jax’s advance. “Would you give us a minute, please?”
Cade kicked the chair aside and stormed out the back door.
“Dane,” Jax started to say but Dane put his thumb on Jax’s lips to silence him. He trailed his finger over Jax’s mouth.
“Do you remember when you said you were trusting me not to break your heart?”
Jax nodded.
“I wanted so badly to tell you that I wouldn’t, but I knew it was something I couldn’t promise. Give your trust to someone who’s earned it, Jax. Love someone who’s worthy of you. We both know I’m not that man.”
Dane tried to step past Jax but wasn’t surprised when Jax grabbed him. He expected the man to yell at him or curse him or flat out refuse to let him go but instead he heard, “Do you love me, Dane?” The fingers biting into his arms loosened and moved up to hold his face. “Tell me the truth.”
Jax held his head so he couldn’t look away. He wasn’t even sure he managed to get the word out until he saw Jax’s eyes widen with pain and then those big hands were releasing him. Jax stepped out of his way and Dane allowed himself one final look at the beautiful man as he left the kitchen, grabbing his car keys as he went. He could now add liar to his long list of deficiencies.
ChapterNine
No.
Agony pierced Jax’s chest as he crumpled into the nearest chair. He would have bet his life that Dane would have answered his question with a yes and that’s all he would have needed. The rest was just noise that he would have found a way to work through with Dane. He’d been willing to fight for as long as it took to show Dane that he was here to stay, but if Dane didn’t share his feelings than what difference would it make?
“I heard his car leave.”
All the rage he’d felt towards Cade when he heard his friend disparaging his lover had faded and he was left with a sense of betrayal unlike any he’d ever known.
“Why?” he managed to choke out as Cade leaned back against the refrigerator.
“The guy’s fucked up, Jax!”
Jax reared out of the chair and slammed his fist into Cade’s jaw. Cade managed to catch himself before he fell.
“I’m in love with him you fucking asshole!”
Cade stroked a hand over his jaw. “He thinks he’s better than you. You said so yourself!”
“Jesus, fucking Christ!” Jax shouted as he turned away from Cade before he did something to his friend that he’d truly regret. “I told you that two weeks ago. Did it ever occur to you that things might have changed since then?”
Cade pushed off the refrigerator, his eyes flashing. “You called me two days ago and I heard it in your fucking voice even then, Jax! And it’s not like he was standing here defending how he felt about you!”
“That’s because you did what every other man in his life has done to him. You sought out his insecurities and you exploited them! His father, his lovers, even his fucking husband messed with his head for years by telling him he wasn’t good enough and you just did the same goddamn thing! And what you heard in my voice was me trying to deal with the fact that I was in love with someone for the first time in my life and scared shitless that he might not love me back.”
“But yesterday…”
