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“Beck, it’s late,” he said softly.
Beck made a noncommittal grunt before climbing to his feet. As we neared the hallway leading to the bedrooms, Beck paused at the entrance and then turned to face both of us. He looked like he wanted to say something.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
He nodded, but didn’t move. I was about to reach for him when he finally turned around and began walking again. We were almost at his door when he stopped and turned again, his face drawn into a mask of worry. It took him a long moment to lift his eyes. “Do you…do you guys wanna sleep in here again?” he asked as he motioned to his door. “Just sleep.”
Brody didn’t even hesitate. He simply took Beck’s hand and led him to his door and waited for Beck to open it. Once it was open, both men looked at me expectantly. I ignored the part of me that was warning me it was a bad idea and said, “Only if you promise to kick Brody when he starts snoring.”
Brody let out a snort, but smiled. Beck laughed and said, “Deal” and then disappeared into the room.
ChapterThirteen
Beck
“She looks good,” Dane said as he ran his hands along the length of the dog’s back one final time. “She just needs to gain some weight and she’ll be good as new.”
The dog was shaking in my hold, but she hadn’t snapped or growled at Dane which was encouraging. It had taken me nearly a week to get the little dog to finally trust me enough to allow me to touch her, and once I did, that was it – she refused to leave my side. I’d even taken to sneaking her into my room at night, though with Brody and Quinn both still sleeping with me each night, my secret hadn’t lasted very long. Neither man had said anything, of course, and I often caught both of them sneaking her food from their dinner plates when they thought I wasn’t looking. Quinn had repeatedly assured me he doubted Roman would have a problem with the dog staying in my room, but I’d gotten so attached to her that I’d been too afraid to risk asking permission.
“You name her yet?” Dane asked as he began preparing the vaccines he’d said the dog would need.
“I figured I shouldn’t. She might belong to someone and even if she doesn’t, I need to find her a new home so those people should get to name her…”
Dane glanced at me, but didn’t say anything at first. The dog barely noticed when he injected the first vaccine. “I can ask around if anyone is missing her, but based on her condition and demeanor, I’m guessing she wasn’t loved enough to be missed.” He gave her another injection and said, “And seems like she’s already found herself a new home.”
My heart clenched at that because I’d grown far more attached to the dog than I’d intended.
“Maybe…maybe you can find her a good family,” I suggested.
Dane studied me for a moment. Finally, he said, “Tell you what…if you still feel that way when it’s time for you to go home, she can stay with us.”
The relief was so overwhelming that I couldn’t find the words to respond so I merely nodded.
“Now, with that in mind, she needs a name,” Dane said gently. He began applying some kind of medicine along the skin on the back of her neck.
“Harley,” I said.
Dane smiled at the quick response. “Harley it is,” he said as he gave the dog a quick pat. “So how are things going at the resort?”
“Good,” I responded, though I could feel the heat creeping into my cheeks at the lie.
Because things were way better than good.
Even when they were confusing as hell.
My relationship with Brody and Quinn had intensified in some ways, but stalled in others. After the first night I’d asked them if they wanted to sleep in my room, they’d hadn’t needed to be asked again – we just all naturally ended up there after we were done with whatever movie we ended up watching after dinner. In the mornings, I usually got up first, though admittedly, it was a challenge to force myself to climb out of the warm cocoon the two bodies around me created. As soon as I left the bed, Quinn and Brody would migrate to each other until they were wrapped in each other’s arms. Sometimes one or both would wake up and I’d kiss them and tell them to go back to sleep, but on most occasions, I’d get a few minutes where I could just watch them holding onto each other, their faces relaxed in sleep.
Quinn almost always was up within a half an hour of me and would join me in the barn and help me feed and turn out the horses before we went back to the residence for breakfast that Brody would have ready for us. We’d go our separate ways for most of the morning, but after lunch we’d reconvene and go for a ride, though we hadn’t stopped at the natural pool again like that first time.
Much to my disappointment.
That was the part where our relationship had stalled. While Brody and Quinn were touchy-feely with me, neither had instigated any more sexual encounters and I’d still been too embarrassed by my breakdown after the episode on the couch that first night to try and encourage another one.
I’d had a lot of time that night to think about things, though I doubted my thoughts on the subject would have been the same if Quinn and Brody hadn’t insisted on staying with me after I’d panicked. When they’d arrived at my door, I’d thought it had only been because they were worried I was so weak that I’d actually hurt myself. But the fact that they stayed with me long after they’d needed to had started to make me question things.
A lot of things.
But I had no answers for any of those questions. All I had were dueling feelings about wanting to be with both men. I craved their touch and yet my mind still couldn’t process what it meant that I did. And the shame was still there, like a living thing beneath my skin. Only it had been amplified because now I feared what Brody and Quinn would think of me if they found out the truth about everything I’d done in my past…what my mind still tried to get me to do whenever it felt threatened. While I’d managed to tamp those emotions down during the day, I knew I hadn’t escaped them completely because Brody and Quinn were waking me up night after night when the nightmares became too much.
