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I settled for a cheaper red nylon collar and matching leash along with a plush dog toy that got Harley’s attention when I squeaked it. I would have liked to get her some nice bowls for her food and water, but the plastic containers I’d borrowed from the kitchen would do for now.
I took the items to the counter and dug out my wallet. Dane eyed me for a moment and then walked around the counter to the display of leashes. He snagged the red leather collar I’d been eyeing along with a matching leash, several toys, a few bags of treats and two ceramic bowls with paw prints painted on them and headed back to the counter. He remained on my side of the counter as he deposited everything on it and began removing the price tag from the collar.
“You’ve got a classy girl there, Beck,” he said as he glanced at Harley. “She deserves a classy collar.”
Embarrassment went through me as I murmured, “It’s beautiful, but I can’t afford it. Or any of this.” I motioned to all the supplies.
Dane cocked his head at me and then crouched down, collar in hand. “Come here, sweetheart,” he said softly. Harley hesitated, but Dane was undaunted and eventually she pressed up against him. He fitted the collar around her neck and smiled. “Perfect,” he said. He gave her a pat and then stood. As he collected all the supplies in his arms, I resigned myself to the inevitable and dug out my wallet.
“How much do I owe you?”
“One night of your services. That’s what you owe me,” he said with a smirk as he started walking towards the door.
Heat flooded my system and bile crept up the back of my throat.
No…
The word kept repeating on a loop in my head, but I couldn’t make any sound come out. I reached out to grab the counter to keep myself upright.
“Beck.”
I shook my head violently. I needed to tell him to fuck off, but the words wouldn’t come. Tears of frustration welled in my eyes, but I furiously blinked them back. I wouldn’t let him see me like this…
“Beck, take a deep breath.”
His voice sounded far away, but I felt his touch everywhere and the need to vomit overwhelmed me.
Tell him to back the fuck off!
But the words eluded me. Pain exploded in my chest as my lungs stopped working.
“Dane?”
“Jax, something’s wrong with him,” I heard Dane say frantically.
“Beck?” I knew who the deeper voice belonged to and I immediately backed up, but between the counter and the wall behind me, there was nowhere to go.
“Beck, you need to slow your breathing,” I heard Jax say calmly, but my mind refused to obey. They were going to do it. I wasn’t going to be able to stop them. I’d let my guard down and now I would lose the only thing keeping me from once again taking that final step. Only this time there might not be someone just on the other side of the door.
I wanted to scream and rage, but a familiar emptiness settled over me. I wanted to cry at its return, but I also welcomed it.
“What happened?” I heard Jax ask.
“Nothing!” Dane said, his voice filled with worry. “We were talking and I made a joke about having him babysit for us Friday night as payment for this stuff…”
The rest of Dane’s words fell away as my mind frantically settled on just one.
Babysit…
Disbelief coursed through me as my brain and body finally began to catch up to one another. I felt air blessedly flow through my lungs.
Babysit.
Dane was going to ask me to babysit in exchange for what I owed for Harley’s care and supplies. The relief was immediate, as was the humiliation. Awareness returned and I managed to lift my eyes to see Jax and Dane looking at me, their faces tight with concern. The word ambulance caught my attention and I quickly said, “I’m okay.” My mind scrambled for an explanation. “Sorry, I was just suddenly feeling sick and was afraid I was going to throw up.”
Both men looked at me like I was crazy and I couldn’t blame them because it was a completely ridiculous explanation. “I think I just spent too much time out in the sun today…Quinn’s been on me to buy a hat or borrow one from him…”
The verbal diarrhea continued until I finally saw both men relax a little bit.
