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“Beck,” I said softly. I was glad when he looked up at me. “I kissed Quinn because it’s become natural for me to do that. If you’d been in that kitchen, believe me, I would have done the same to you. Only, it wouldn’t have ended there.”
There was enough light in the room to see a flush of color light up Beck’s pale skin. His fingers began stroking through the dog’s fur.
“We never do more than kiss,” he finally said. “That last time at the water…I thought…”
When his voice dropped off, Quinn said, “What did you think?”
“I thought it meant something,” he admitted. My heart clenched.
“That’s the problem, Beck,” I whispered. “Itdidmean something. It meant whatever this thing between us is, it’s too important to mess up with just sex. There needs to be more than that. Quinn and I were just trying to give you and ourselves the space and the time to figure that stuff out.”
“It’s not because I keep messing things up afterwards? Running away?” Beck asked.
Quinn reached out and used his hand to force Beck to look at him. I loved the contrast of his tanned skin on Beck’s pale flesh. He continued to hold onto Beck’s cheek, his thumb rubbing softly back and forth as he said, “You haven’t messed anything up. Brody and I want you to be ready if and when we take the next step. Sex might be something that’s a little harder for you to deal with, but Brody and I are struggling just as much.”
“How so?” Beck asked, his eyes shifting to me, though he didn’t pull free of Quinn’s hold.
“I’ve never been in a relationship that wasn’t based on a lie, Beck. I’ve had sex with countless men, but I don’t know the first thing about what comes after.”
Beck held my gaze for a moment before he looked at Quinn.
“I lost the only person I’ve ever loved and who loved me back,” Quinn whispered. “I never expected…” His voice dropped off momentarily before he finally said, “I never expectedthis.” His eyes shifted between Beck and me.
My gut clenched because I hadn’t been sure about Quinn’s feelings. He’d insisted early on that he wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship, but these two weeks he hadn’t repeated that comment and he hadn’t shied away from all the little things that made what was happening between us so much more than physical. For my own part, my emotions were so tightly wrapped up in both men, I was both freaked out and as excited as hell. It had been a long time since I’d dreamed of the perfect life with the man I was supposed to be with.
Those dreams had returned and that perfect life didn’t seem so far off now.
And the fact that it was two men who now had starring roles in those dreams didn’t bother me in the least.
Beck dropped his eyes again, forcing Quinn to release him. His hand stroked back and forth over the dog’s tan fur as silence engulfed the room. His next words were spoken so quietly, I barely heard them.
“It was a lot of fuckers.”
Pain slashed through me as I realized he was responding to Quinn’s earlier comment about the fucker who’d made Beck believe he wasn’t worth anything.
“Do you want to tell us about them?” Quinn asked.
Beck shook his head.
“How about dinner?” I offered.
“Don’t want to eat,” he answered simply.
Quinn and I exchanged a frustrated glance.
“Do you want to go to sleep?” Quinn asked.
Beck raised his eyes. “I’ve been asleep my whole life,” he whispered.
“Then what do you want, Beck?” I asked gently.
“I want more. More of you,” he said, looking at me. “More of you,” he said softly when he turned his gaze on Quinn. “More of us.”
Excitement flared deep in my belly as the meaning of his words sank in. But I tethered the runaway emotion and met Quinn’s eyes when he shifted them in my direction. I could see the open hunger burning there, mirrors to what was in my own eyes.
I expected Quinn to ask Beck if he was sure or to suggest we wait a little longer, but he surprised me when he leaned in and kissed Beck, his mouth moving softly over our young lover’s. Beck kissed him back. When they broke the kiss, Quinn whispered, “Tell us what you want.”
Beck didn’t answer right away. Instead, he climbed to his feet, jarring the dog who immediately trotted to a pillow that Beck had placed in the corner of the room for her as her sleeping area. Beck reached out his hand and Quinn immediately took it. My eyes locked with Beck’s as he walked to me, not stopping until his body was pressed against mine. I automatically settled my hands on his hips. He tugged Quinn to him until Quinn was tucked up against his back.
