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I nodded. That was true enough. Dale came with an excellent résumé and references, but there was something about the guy that just rubbed me the wrong way. He was a cocky bastard, but lacking in charm so he just came off as an arrogant know-it-all. But I kept that piece of information to myself because he had a proven track record of working at dude ranches, which meant he knew how to handle the tricky combination of horses and guests of all different riding abilities.
Roman and I chatted a bit more about business before he wandered off to show his daughter the other horses and to catch up to Hunter. I felt my heart hurt a little bit at the sight of the big, happy, extended family. It wasn’t something I’d ever had, so I’d never really missed it growing up. But after moving to Dare two years ago, I’d been around these folks enough to know that even though most of them weren’t related by blood, they were as strong as any family could be.
It took another twenty minutes to get the riders and their mounts organized. Gabriella joined us just long enough to escort Mrs. Greene, Dolly and the younger children to the lodge. Since we had an extra horse now that I could ride Koda, we managed to convince Lilah to join us, though she’d never ridden before. Since I was leading the group, I couldn’t spend as much time focusing on Beck and Brody as I would have liked, but it never failed that I could feel their eyes on me. I never ignored that shiver creeping up my spine and as soon as I felt it, I searched them both out. We hadn’t talked about whether we wanted people to know what was happening between us, so I was always careful not to let my heated looks linger.
The trail ride went off without a hitch. The horses behaved perfectly and every single person was smiling by the time we returned. While the actual lodge guests wouldn’t be required to help untack their horses if they didn’t want to, most everyone stayed behind to get the horses settled. It had been Gabriella’s idea to offer to let people swim in the resort’s main pool after the trail ride so people began driving over to the lodge in small groups. When it was just me, Beck and Brody, I was the one who suggested we join everyone else. We stopped at the residence just long enough to grab some shorts and convince Lilah to come with us and then we were headed towards the lodge in my truck.
It turned out my men were fish because long after I’d gotten out of the pool, they were still at it. Dane and Jax’s oldest child was playing with them, as was 7-year-old Oliver Hawthorne. We were sitting around the outside pool which happened to also extend inside through a glass wall that could apparently be opened and closed depending on the weather. Gabriella had surprised the group by having some food brought in for an early dinner so we’d ended up making a party of it. My own belly was pleasantly full and the ice-cold beer I was working on was refreshing in the early evening heat. But most of my attention was on Beck and Brody as they interacted with the kids. Beck was definitely more comfortable around them, but Brody was figuring it out pretty quickly and they’d gotten to the point where they were each throwing the kids in the air so that they’d land several feet away in the water with a huge splash. A sliver of pain went through me as I remembered how badly Griff and I had wanted exact moments like these, but it didn’t ruin the moment for me.
I’d been so caught up in watching my guys that I didn’t notice Callan had sat down on the lounger next to me until he clinked his cup of beer against mine.
“Nice job today, Quinn,” he said as he sat back. “And not just today,” he added.
“Thanks,” I said. “The horses make my job pretty easy,” I murmured. “You picked some damn good ones.”
“We,” was all Callan said. After a moment he said, “I’m sure you’re looking forward to getting back to the ranch and your house.”
“Yeah,” I murmured noncommittally since it was a lie. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. I was one of the lucky ones who worked for the CB Bar because I had a place all to myself. The other guys who worked cattle had to share the remaining two cottages on the property and the rest lived off-site.
“It’s not as hard as you thought, is it?” Callan asked. The question confused me so I tore my eyes from Beck and Brody to look at him.
“What is?”
“Loving two men at the same time.”
Fear skittered through me as my eyes darted to my men and then the rest of the other people around the pool.
“I’m not…” I began, but then I let my voice drop off because I knew the next words out of my mouth would be a lie and I just wasn’t going to go there – not when Beck and Brody were involved, even indirectly.
Was that what I was? In love? I wasn’t a stranger to love because I’d been there before. But I hadn’t thought it possible. Griff had been my soulmate and you only got one soulmate.
Right?
So what? Did I justlikeBeck and Brody? I shook my head, not realizing how odd it would look. No, like wasn’t enough. Not even close.
It was more than that…so much more. Even love didn’t seem like enough sometimes to describe how being around them made me feel. Making love wasn’t the right words to describe what it was like when our bodies were joined.
Guilt went through me as I realized some of the things I was describing to myself were things I hadn’t even considered when I’d been with Griff. He’d made me happier than I’d ever been in my life, but now, in this moment, I couldn’t find a memory with Griff that could quite match it. It wasn’t that being with Beck and Brody was better, it was just…different.
“No, it’s not,” I finally admitted. I should have been more afraid of what I was admitting to, but if anything, it just brought me down.
Because while Beck and Brody were mine, there was a very fast time clock counting down the time we had left together. And even if by some miracle Brody wanted to try to build something with me, it would never be quite as perfect as when it was the three of us.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“You can’t take your eyes off of them, for starters,” Callan said. “And when you do, you don’t relax again until they’re back in your sights.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I shouldn’t have started something up with them…Beck especially, since we work together.”
Callan snorted and then shot me a glance. “The only reason I have the best fucking life imaginable was because both my men worked for me. We don’t get to pick and choose the people our futures are with or the circumstances under which we meet them.”
That was most certainly true.
“Beck’s leaving in six weeks. Brody has a whole other life. This,” – I motioned to the pool – “only happened because we were forced into such close proximity to one another. That shit doesn’t happen in the real world.”
“Yeah,” Callan agreed. “The real world isn’t going to make it easy for you. If it did, you’d still be in Wyoming with your husband and a passel of kids, right?”
I nodded. It was a bittersweet thought because I would have loved that life, but this moment…I couldn’t deny this perfect moment either.
