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It was a strange stand-off – he and Finn looking nervous and Rhys and Roman looking wary. Hunter finally found the courage to get them both moving forward and as soon as he neared the table, Rhys and Finn stood. But it was Rhys who came around the table and closed the distance between them. Roman instantly stepped in front of Hunter – not enough to block him from Rhys completely but enough that he could ward off any blow that might come.
“Hunter, I’m Rhys Tellar,” Rhys said quietly. “I owe you an apology.”
Jesus, another one. Between Callan and Rhys, Hunter wasn’t ever going to be able to catch up. He began shaking his head almost violently but Rhys said, “Yes, I do.” His eyes shifted to Roman. “I owe you one as well Mr…”
“Call me Roman,” Roman said crisply as he reached out his hand to shake Rhys’. Rhys turned his attention back to Hunter.
“There’s no excuse for my behavior,” Rhys admitted. “When it comes to Finn and Callan, I tend to think with my heart instead of my head.”
Hunter finally managed to find his voice. “You don’t owe me any explanations, Mr. Tellar. I deserved what I got and more.”
“Hunter-” he heard Roman start to say but Rhys held his hand up to stop Roman though his eyes never left Hunter’s.
“It’s Rhys,” he said. “And no, you didn’t.” Rhys extended his hand to Hunter. “I’m sorry.”
Hunter was too at a loss for words to respond so he nodded his head and shook Rhys’ hand. Rhys shifted his gaze back to Roman. “I was just going to get some coffee. Can I buy you a cup?”
Hunter felt Roman’s eyes on him and he quickly nodded at the unspoken question.
“You want anything?” Roman asked.
“No, thanks,” Hunter said quickly. If he drank anything, it would likely just come back up. Once Roman and Rhys headed towards the counter, Hunter turned his attention on Finn who was still standing next to the table. It was interesting to see how very much the same Finn looked but also how different. He’d filled out quite a bit, probably from the brutal work that ranch life required but his face still had the same innocence to it that had drawn Hunter in from when they were freshmen in high school and Finn had sat ahead of him in their math class. They’d always been friendly to one another but it wasn’t until their junior year that they’d started to talk a little bit more. They hadn’t exactly been friends but he’d always felt some strange connection to Finn that he couldn’t explain.
He hadn’t really understood that what he was feeling was attraction because he’d never felt it before – not for any other boy or girl. He’d spent the next two years trying to ignore how his body always drew tight with need whenever Finn was around. And he’d been successful until the day he’d broken down and asked Finn if he wanted to come to his graduation party. He’d expected Finn to refuse since they didn’t run in the same circles and none of the guys Finn typically hung out with would be there but, to his surprise, Finn accepted. And then everything had gone to hell.
Hunter forced himself to walk forward. Finn smiled slightly and then said, “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.” Finn motioned to the seat across from him and when Hunter sat, he stuck his hands in his lap so Finn wouldn’t see how badly they were shaking.
“How are you?” Finn asked.
Since speech was still eluding him, Hunter nodded.
“I’m sorry for what happened on the sidewalk-”
Hunter wanted to slam his head down on the table. No way he could go through this a third time. “Please,” he whispered. “Please don’t.”
Luckily Finn seemed to know what he was asking because he didn’t finish the sentence. “Gray says you’re in the engineering program at the university,” Finn said.
“Um, yeah, I just switched my major a few weeks ago.”
“That’s cool. You were always so smart in school…I knew you’d go really far.”
Pain lanced through Hunter at the kind words. “I’m so sorry, Finn,” he suddenly blurted. Finn looked at him warily – he’d clearly been expecting to ease into this particular topic but between Rhys’ apology and Finn’s lack of accusation, Hunter was on the edge. Lifting his hand to his mouth for a moment, Hunter tried to get control of himself.
“That night when I saw you arrive, I was so excited. And when I showed you to the pool house so you could change, I just…I just couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to touch you. And then you opened the door and you looked at me like you knew what I was thinking-”
“I did,” Finn interjected. “It was exactly why I said yes when you invited me.”
Hunter closed his eyes. He’d never been a hundred percent sure if he’d somehow taken Finn’s choice away when he’d pushed Finn back into the pool house and kissed him. At some point Finn had kissed him back and had even started jacking him off but Hunter hadn’t known if he’d just gotten caught up in the moment or if he had wanted Hunter as badly as Hunter had wanted him. And then it hadn’t mattered because his father had walked in and flipped on the lights and seen his son flat on his back with Finn’s hand jammed down his shorts.
“I’ve spent the last eighteen months trying to figure out what to say to you if I ever got this chance but nothing makes sense to me anymore. I was a coward, pure and simple. I couldn’t face what would happen so I put it all on you.”
Finn was quiet for so long that Hunter actually started to rise.
“Don’t,” Finn said gently. “Please don’t go.”
Hunter dropped back down in the chair and folded his hands together on the table. He didn’t realize he was rocking back and forth until Finn’s hands closed over his and effectively stopped his forward motion. “Callan says you came to the hospital that night. He said you had bruises on your face.”
He’d had them everywhere but he didn’t say that. “I deserved them,” he responded. “Maybe not for the reason they were inflicted but I deserved them anyway.”
