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The same looks my fathers always sent me when they thought I wasn’t looking.
I didn’t need him to voice the worries running through his head because I knew what they were.
Is he okay?
What if I say the wrong thing to him?
Is he going to try it again?
But Jax surprised me when, instead of offering the standard ‘I’m here if you need to talk’ line, he simply said, “We’re glad you’re here, Beck.”
The words should have made me feel good. But all they did was add more weight on my very tired shoulders. It was exhausting to have to convince others I was okay, even if I wasn’t, and now it looked like I had a whole new group of people I’d need to play the game with.
“Thanks, me too,” I managed to say.
I focused my attention on my surroundings as we made our way into the smaller barn which was one of those old-fashioned red barns. There was a larger barn next to it and I’d noticed as we’d driven up that the two were connected with some kind of walkway. I’d seen numerous pastures behind the barns along with what I thought might be an indoor riding arena attached to the larger barn. A few small cottage-style houses were just north of the barns and on the top of the hill was a large, two-story farmhouse.
The place was quiet as we walked through the small barn. As we neared the doorway that led to the walkway attaching the two barns, my eyes caught on a horse at the end of the aisle. It was in its stall, but a small door in the upper part of the stall had been left open so the animal could stick its head through. The horse was huge and had nearly an all-white face. I moved a little closer towards the animal to see it actually had a combination of large splotches of black and white color all over its big body.
“Hey, I’ll be right back,” Jax said as he noticed me eyeing the animal and I nodded as he made his way to the other barn. I moved closer to the horse as it craned its neck out to try and reach me. It made these odd little snuffling sounds as I neared it and when I was just shy of it being able to make contact with me, it began flapping its lips. I smiled at the odd behavior and then carefully reached out my hand to stroke its face. The animal’s mouth skimmed over my palm, but it didn’t bare its teeth so I figured it was just looking for food. I stepped a little closer and slid my hand down the horse’s sleek neck. I nearly jumped out of my skin when it let out a sharp whinny and began stomping its foot impatiently.
“Hold your horses,” I heard a humor-laced voice say and I automatically froze at the familiar register.
No, it couldn’t be.
Religion was something I’d given up a long time ago, but I still found myself praying to anyone who would listen that it wasn’tthatvoice I’d just heard.
But I knew before I forced myself to turn that it was him. Despite spending just a handful of minutes with the man, his voice was burned into my memory and I suspected it would be for the rest of my life.
Bile rose in my throat at the sight of him and if I hadn’t been so horrified, I would have been amused by the look of disbelief on his face as he recognized me.
“Beck,” he whispered and I felt my legs threaten to give out as the sound of my name on his beautiful lips brought me right back to that bathroom stall when he’d done to me what no other man ever had.
He’d kissed me.
ChapterTwo
Quinn
Icould honestly say I wasn’t someone who surprised easily, but in the span of less than 48 hours, I’d met my quota and then some. Five minutes ago, I’d been greeting my horse before remembering I’d left the new bit I’d wanted to try out on my kitchen table, and now here I was face to face with the young man who’d been playing a starring role in my dreams for the last two nights.
“Oh God,” Beck ground out and I saw him reach out and grab onto the edge of the stall for support. For a second, I thought he might actually throw up then and there.
“Hey, I didn’t find him so-” I heard a voice say behind me and I forced myself to look over my shoulder to see one of the local sheriff’s deputies rounding the corner from the other barn. Beck instantly dropped his eyes, probably to hide the turmoil swimming in them.
While I was still trying to process how I was feeling about seeing him again, he’d clearly already come out on the other side, if his look of horror was anything to go by.
“Oh, hey, Quinn,” Jax said as he turned his attention to me and held out his hand. I saw Beck glance at me over Jax’s shoulder.
“Deputy Reid,” I murmured distractedly as I watched Beck shake his head at me slightly, the desperate, unspoken plea as obvious to me as if he’d shouted it.
I was dimly aware of Jax saying, “I was looking for Jerry.”
It felt like it took much longer than it should have to find the strength to respond, but I finally managed to say, “Jerry had to head out to check on the herd with some of the other guys. One of them spotted signs of a bear near the river so he wanted to check it out…”
Jax nodded in understanding. “Oh, let me introduce you,” Jax said suddenly and then he was turning towards Beck who’d managed to recover enough to let a mask of indifference slip over his features. It wasn’t the same look he’d had at the club, but it was disturbing all the same.
I couldn’t help but wonder how many masks he had in his repertoire.
