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He didn’t respond, but I knew I had his complete attention.
“I don’t regret that night. Being with you…with him,” – I shot Brody a quick look – “was…”
I struggled to find the right words, but realized there weren’t any. I’d come alive that night and that was something I hadn’t felt in any of the 762 days since I’d lost Griff. I finally shook my head because there were no words. “I understand it wasn’t the same for you and I’m truly sorry if we hurt you…either that night or with how we reacted after your accident. But it doesn’t need to change what this place can be for you. A place to start over, clear your head…whatever.” I held Beck’s gaze as I whispered, “Just tell us what you need, Beck. We’ll give it to you.” I risked a glance at Brody and saw him nod at Beck.
Beck didn’t respond. He barely even reacted to what I’d said and I finally stepped back from Brody so there was a clear gap between us that Beck could walk through. Resigned, I dug my car keys out of my pocket.
“I need two things,” Beck said softly, his eyes shifting back and forth between me and Brody. “I don’t want to talk about that night.”
“Okay,” Brody responded and I nodded my head.
“What’s the other thing?” I asked eagerly, too eagerly. I had no idea why it was so goddamn important that Beck not run again.
“I need you to not be waiting…”
When he didn’t continue, Brody prodded, “Waiting?”
Beck sucked in a breath. “I need you to not be waiting for me to try it again.”
I knew he was talking about his suicide attempt. The request made sense, but I also knew how tough it would be. From the moment Brody had told me Beck’s secret, I’d looked and thought of the young man differently…which was exactly what he didn’t want.
He wanted to be normal.
The realization struck me hard. Hehadcome here to start over yet that was nearly impossible now that practically everyone knew about his past. And while I could appreciate his family’s need to know that the people he was spending the summer with were watching out for Beck, the knowledge of what he’d done would always color the way they saw him.
He’d never just be Beck, the young man visiting from Seattle for the summer.
He’d be Beck, the young man who’d made the decision to tie a rope around his neck and take that one step that would ensure he’d never feel even another moment of pain.
“We…” Brody began and then I felt his questioning eyes on me. I nodded. “We can do that,” Brody said as he held Beck’s gaze.
Some of the tension seemed to drain from Beck’s body as we all hung there wondering what to do or say next. The awkward silence grew, but I was more aware of something else growing between us. It was the same thing that had flared to life from the moment Beck and I had walked into that bathroom and spotted Brody. My body came alive as I remembered how tight Beck’s lithe body had been around my flesh and the feel of Brody’s firm lips owning mine. I risked looking at Brody and saw that he wasn’t faring much better than me. I was close enough to him to hear his breathing tick up and there was absolutely nothing he could have done to hide the hunger in his whiskey-colored eyes. We both shifted our gazes to Beck at the same exact time and my dick shot to full attention at the sight of the young man with his back now pressed against the wall. But he didn’t look like he was trying to escape us anymore…more like he needed the support because his lips were parted and his skin was flushed. The air crackled around us with electricity and I was actually taking a step towards him when the sound of footsteps behind me registered.
“Quinn,” a man’s voice called and I both cursed him and sent him a volley of silent thanks for the interruption. Embarrassment swamped me as I pulled my hat off my head and held it over my groin to cover my erection. To the man, it would look like I was just being polite, but I suspected Brody knew what was happening because he seemed to be doing the same thing with the hammer in his hand. It was utterly ridiculous that two grown men were behaving like pubescent teens sporting their first boners.
“Mr. Blackwell,” I said as I held out my right hand to shake his as he reached me. The man tilted his head at me and I realized my mistake. “Roman,” I said sheepishly. I’d met the man many times in non-business settings, but still failed to see him as anything other than my quasi boss, even though he really wasn’t. My goal when I’d come to Dare had been to keep things professional with the men I worked with, but it was a challenge when they were all so open and insistent about pursuing friendships outside that relationship.
“How are you?” Roman asked as he gave my hand a firm shake. Luckily, he didn’t notice anything off with me or the situation because he nodded briefly at Brody before shaking his hand as well.
“I’m fine,” I murmured. “The place is looking amazing,” I added.
Roman smiled brightly as he nodded. “Thank you. It’s really coming along.” He turned his attention to Brody. “Are you finding everything you need?”
“Yes, thank you.” Brody glanced at the stall behind him. “I should have these finished within a week and then I’ll start on the tack room.”
Another nod from Roman. “You’re a lifesaver, Brody. Luke tells me you actually took some vacation time to help me finish this job.”
A smattering of color brightened Brody’s cheeks and I felt my slightly softened dick threaten to fill again. God, the man was beautiful.
“It’s not a big deal…one of the other paramedics had asked me to cover for her this fall when she and her husband head to Europe for their ten-year anniversary so we just did a swap.”
“Still, I’ll be adding to the price we agreed upon. Luke also told me you haven’t been there long enough to earn paid time off.”
“No, Mr. Blackwell,” – Brody hesitated at Roman’s brief frown – “Roman,” he corrected. “That isn’t necessary.”
“You should know better than to argue with my husband by now, Brody.” I looked up to see Roman’s young husband, Hunter, enter the barn, a big white dog and three little scrappy-looking terrier mixes at his heels.
Roman’s whole face lit up as his eyes fell on Hunter and there was no hesitation between them when Hunter reached his side. They kissed for several long seconds, seemingly oblivious to the world around them.
