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“But?” I prodded.
Beck stopped packing up the kit and surprised me by making direct eye contact with me. “I don’t want to let them down too.”
The raw honesty behind his words was so unexpected, that I was momentarily left speechless. Which gave Beck time to snap the first aid kid closed and get to his feet. “You’re all set,” he said.
I hated the way his voice had turned cold and dismissive so I did what I’d promised myself I wouldn’t and grabbed his wrist before he could walk away. He tensed in my hold, but didn’t try to pull free. I took that as a good sign and gently urged him to sit back down. I began absently stroking his wrist as I said, “I don’t know much about you, Beck, but everything I’ve seen, I like. A lot.”
Beck stiffened, but luckily, he didn’t pull away.
“I don’t know what your life is like back home, but I’ve spent a week watching you work your ass off. Even with Quinn gone most of the day, you’re throwing yourself into your work. A lot of guys your age would take advantage and slack off. They’d treat this as some summer job that doesn’t matter. But not you…”
I paused as I tried to get control of my lust which was beginning to ratchet up as Beck’s body subtly leaned in towards mine. My injured hand had a mind of its own when it settled on Beck’s elbow. In my mind, I could see how easy it would be to pull him forward just enough so our lips would meet.
I forced the thought away, though I couldn’t make myself release him as I continued.
“I don’t look at you and see someone who tried to end his life and I’m not sitting around wondering if you’re going to do it again. What I see is a kind-hearted young man just trying to figure out who he is.” I sucked in a breath and said, “And I know the way we met was messed up, but I’m up for trying to be friends if you are. God knows I could use more of those.”
Beck was quiet for so long that I was sure he was going to tell me to fuck off, but he just held there as he nodded and said, “Okay.”
It wasn’t the most exuberant agreement I’d ever heard, but he’d said yes so that was all I really cared about.
Since being friends meant I couldn’t drag him onto my lap and kiss the shit out of him, I said, “I guess we should eat.”
Beck seemed to be in some kind of daze because he murmured, “Yeah,” absentmindedly and then his eyes fell to my mouth. My heart seized in my chest as he hung there. Even though my brain was telling me a kiss would fuck up everything I’d just managed to build, I didn’t move away from him like I should have. And I didn’t release him like I should have.
I had no idea how long we hung there for before Beck finally leaned forward. His mouth was just scant inches from mine when a familiar voice shattered the silence around us.
“Beck.”
Beck scrambled back so fast at the sound of Quinn’s voice that he lost his balance and it was only my hand on his elbow that kept him from hitting the floor. I ignored the sting of pain in my hand as I gripped him hard and steadied him until he could clamber to his feet.
I cast a glance over my shoulder and saw Quinn standing in the doorway that led from the communal space to the back hallway where the individual suites were located. His mouth was drawn into a hard line. His steely eyes shifted between us before settling on Beck. “When you’re finished with lunch, meet me in the barn.”
Fury tore through me as Beck’s body drew up tight with anxiety.
He nodded vigorously and said, “Be right there.”
Quinn didn’t respond as he turned to go down the hallway. Beck grabbed the first aid kit from the table and took it over to the kitchen counter. I watched as he gripped the edge of the granite countertop as if trying to get control of himself. I got up and went to stand next to him, but as soon as I neared him, he said, “I should go.”
“Eat lunch first.”
He shook his head. “No, I should-” – his eyes darted to the doorway as if he half expected Quinn to still be standing there – “I should go.”
Beck started to move past me, but I snagged him around the waist with my left arm to stop his forward movement. “Eat something, Beck. You have time.”
He shook his head again, but before he could speak I said, “Then make yourself a sandwich to go.”
Beck hesitated and then nodded. I forced myself to release him and stepped back as I watched him hurriedly slap some meat between two slices of bread. He snatched the sandwich off the counter. “Sorry,” he murmured to me as he rushed past me.
I waited until he was out of sight before I headed towards the hallway. Once I reached Quinn’s room, I slammed my fist against the door and waited. It was practically ripped off the hinges in response.
“What?” Quinn snapped as he pushed past me and yanked his door shut behind him. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and I could smell the lingering scent of soap.
“That was a dick move,” I bit out as I followed Quinn back towards the kitchen.
“Not any more dickish than preying on a vulnerable kid.”
That pissed me off but mainly because I was afraid there might be a kernel of truth in his words. I grabbed Quinn’s arm and yanked him to a halt.
