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The next morning,I woke up with a splitting migraine. I indulged in having a drink or two on a daily basis, but never to this excessive extent. This was the fun price ofoverindulgence.
Grumbling a moan, my eyes squinted at the bright room. The time indicated ten in themorning.
Hell, I hadoverslept.
I was up at sixty-thirty every day without fail—well, apart for on occasions when Gisele was in bed with me. That was when my schedule began to falter, and my mundane rules tended to be momentarilyforgotten.
Gisele’s side was empty, darkening my mood further. Where was she? Lightly shoving the covers, I checked to see if she had ridden me the way she always did, but this time, there wasn’t a hint of heronme.
“Gisele?” I called out and was met withsilence.
Strenuously, it took a great deal of effort to slip out of bed then drag my bloody arse to the bathroom to shower, needing to wash the heavy stench of alcohol off my skin. Once done, I strode out with a towel carelessly slung around my hips as I headed towards the door. Before I did so, I quickly glanced at Gisele’s closet and found my clothes strewn on the large ottoman. Was she trying to move my things into her own space? I snickered, amused by her keenness to truly welcome mebackhome.
Walking out of her bedroom, I directly went into mine, only to find her in the middle of my closet space, gripping the frame I’d hidden in my drawer. My heart lurched into my throat, halting my world altogether. Gisele’s glacial stare went straight into my bones, freezing my ability tofunction.
“Skeletons in the closet,” she uttered in a chilling, hair-raising manner. “Who’d have thought you’re one for banaladages.”
Dread ricocheted all over me as I cautiously took a few steps with my arm stretched out, needing to get to her before she pushed me away. “I canexplain.”
“Explain?”she faintly hissed as her eyes pinned me on the spot.“You’ve kept this a secret!”Her arm raised in the air, gripping the weathered frame I was actually quite terrified she’d drop andbreak.
My eyes speedily shifted from her face then towards the frame. “Be careful with that, Gisele. Don’t you bloody drop it!” I thundered out, about to lose mybloodymind.
She tauntingly cocked her head, loathingly glaring at the frame. “Will it break your cold, lying heart, Jared?” She audaciously pouted, mocking the fear she found inmyeyes.
Damn it alltoHell.
“I beg of you. Her memory doesn’t deserve to be disrespected in such a way.” My eyes frantically pleaded as I remained frozen, too horrified to move another step in case she dropped the precious memory of my past. “Her name’s Paige. We married when we turned seventeen because I’d gotten her pregnant. She was the love of my life, and I was hers. Something went horribly wrong during childbirth. Everything was so chaotic then, but my daughter, my little girl, my baby…Penny…She came out a stillborn. Paige died from complications right after. My life ended with them up until your father showed up to give me a helping hand. Now I’m here with you, married to you. I’m sorry. You have no idea how grave it feels to see you like this. I never intended for you to find out this way. I was going to wait for the right moment to reveal my past because it hurts to speak about them after I failed them both. I’m gutted that I can’t take the hurt away. I’m so terribly sorry for that.” I felt humbled as I spilled the painful memories I’d heavily carried in my heart. Paige and Penny were my shroud, my heavy cross to bear, reminding me of my failure. But most of all, they were the loves of my life. Losing them meant losing myself as well…up until fate had brought me Gisele. And it seemed I was given a taste of paradise before it was being threatened onceagain.
I understood the gravity of my inaction, but was it enough for her to leave? Surely, after what we’d been through, she wouldn’t easily give us up? I had to believe we were stronger than that, because if I didn’t, I had nothing left to holdonto.
The woman who had such a profound hold on me remained still as she silently fumed before she ever so slowly placed the frame atop the drawer. “I apologize. Had I known—I’d never dare think of it.” Silently, her tears fell, but her gaze never met mine. “I need to think. Please, don’t follow me. Don’t do anything. I just want to be alone and to be awayfromyou.”
“Gisele…”If she decides to leave me…I’d bloody go mental. “Please, talk to me,” I despairinglybeseeched.
She vehemently shook her head without bothering to wipe her tears as she carefully went past me. Unwilling to let her go, my hand hastily grabbed her arm, yanking her against my body, her back crashing against my chest as I wretchedly clungontoher.
“Forgive me, kitten…please.” Imploring, my face buried in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. The gutting pains in my chest continuously eviscerated me each time she hiccupped. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you…never like this…I’m sosorry.”
“Letgo!”
I didn’t budge. “If I do, we’d be separated, and I’d rather deal with your anger and deal with this together instead of worrying ifyou’reokay.”
“Why the fuck do you have to be so freaking crazy!” she shrilled, her wails escalating as she tried to punch my arms, begging for release to noavail.
Closing my eyes, I stuck to her, gripping her thrashing body, holding her closer, locking her down. “I’ll bear your pain. So, hit me. Give me your best shot. Hurt me, kitten! Do what you must,butI’m not letting you go.Do you hear me?I’m. Not. Letting.You.Go.”
Gisele was past livid. She released a long, guttural cry, showcasing the pain within her. “Jesus! You drive mecrazy!”
Though she tried to hurt me the best she could, my arms wouldn’t relent. She threw a good deal of weight, too, and I was sure I’d get bruises from her consistent blows lasting for over an hour or so. But I dutifully fastened, banding my arms around her with unbreakable strength. And as for the bruises, those would heal, but her heart, I wasn’t quitesosure.
“You’ve broken my trust…Your words hold no meaning anymore.” Her voice snapped into a broken cry, sounding beyond depleted, irreparablydefeated.
Exhausted from fighting me off, she sagged against me. Her cries turned to hiccups. Her struggles turned to passivity. Murmuring soft words into her ear, I tried to pacify her before slowly gathering her in my arms and bringing her towards the untouched bed. I carefully placed her placid form down before joining her, my arms gathering her worn-out body, quietly holding her until her hiccups fullysubsided.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I do have an idea what you’re feeling,” I softly said, the ache in my throat making it difficult to breathe evenly. “This is all my fault. I’m not asking for your forgiveness, Gisele. I don’t deserve it, but I’m pleading to your heart; don’t give up on mejustyet.”
This new relationship required time to blossom. We were simply ironing the kinks and curves. Disclosing my past wasn’t an easy task, even though it had happened years ago. I hoped she understood that much. It may take time for her to forgive me, and I deserved her disdain, but all I wished was for her not to shutmeout.
