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‘The men at the beach,’ he said after a moment’s pause. ‘Jowan told me they were your family?’
Without hesitating, Alex unburdened herself of the whole story, taking quick sips of hot chocolate every now and then. She found she couldn’t hide her sadness from Magnús at losing the family she’d been so content with, and she choked up when talking about Eve, but there was nowhere near the same pain when she explained how her three-and-a-half-year relationship with Ben had ended.
‘I’m not surprised he cheated, actually. Things haven’t been right for a long time. He knew that long before I’d figured it out. It wasn’t fair to stay with him when we weren’t happy. So,’ she shrugged, making the water ripple in waves over her breastbone and shoulders, ‘it’s over, and for the first time in a long time, there’s just me.’
‘Well, here’s to just you.’ Magnús held out his mug and they clanked their hot chocolates together and drank.
‘So, what have you done all day?’ she asked. ‘Did you open the shop?’
‘Open the shop? First of all, nobody’s shopping in a storm. Second, you’d left without saying goodbye. I didn’t know what to think, but I knew, deep in here,’ he touched his hand to his chest, ‘you didn’t belong with those people and… I wanted you back. When you didn’t come, I tried to leave, but something stopped me. I—’
The buzz of his phone on the bathroom floor stopped him, and he reached down to read the message.
How’d it go? Did you find her? My missus wants to know. Hope you did, mate. Merry Christmas. Uber Tony.
Magnús sniffed a laugh at the screen.
‘Who’s that?’ Alex asked.
‘Our fan club,’ he told her, still smiling to himself. ‘Doesn’t matter.’ He waved the interruption away, but Alex was already moving their conversation on.
‘They kind of flustered me into leaving with them, and a big part of me wanted to go, in a way, but then I woke up. I can’t explain it any other way. I woke up and knew I had to get back here.’
Magnús listened carefully.
‘I realised something when I was walking back here,’ she added.
‘What’s that?’
‘I’m not fixed yet.’
‘Are you supposed to be fixed?’ said Magnús.
‘I don’t know,’ she shrugged. ‘I need something of my own, something that’s mine that I can be proud of. Not something external that other people can give to me. Even you.’ She added these last words, unable to meet Magnús’s eyes. ‘We can spend this week together, and that’s great – beautiful, even – but I still need a life of my own. I need to fix myself up.’
Magnús was nodding. He understood. ‘I feel the same.’
‘You do?’
‘I was so happy yesterday,’ he told her, his eyes glazing a little at the memory. ‘I thought I had it all. But all it took was you leaving this morning and it all just came crashing back over me. I can’t recover from how sad I am to have lost my bookshop. I know it sounds pathetic, you could say egotistical. Like, why should I be any different from all the other people losing their businesses? But I need something else too.’ He seemed to think hard then added, ‘Something bigger than being happy. I need something bigger even than making you laugh, even though that feels amazing, something bigger than making you…’ His words faltered again and he looked away.
‘Go on.’
‘Making you orgasm.’
‘Hah!’ Alex laughed and brought her hands to her cheeks to hide the blush.
Magnús pressed on, caught up in his thoughts. ‘Even though these are things I want. There’s more inside of me that needs to be fixed, and I still don’t know how to do it.’
‘Well, that’s OK,’ Alex soothed. ‘I don’t have a clue what I need either. How am I supposed to make up for all my lost years, doing nothing with my life? How am I meant to move on from being so sad when I was so young? We both need to figure out what our bigger pictures look like. Right?’
‘Right,’ Magnús nodded slowly, still thinking. ‘I guess as a book nerd I should know the story isn’t over until everybody’s happy.’
Alex smiled back. ‘Getting really properly happy might take a long time, but I think that’s OK. At least I made a good start today.’
Magnús laid his empty mug on the side of the bath then reached for Alex’s and placed them together. ‘I want to know… you came back for your own sake,já? But did you also possibly… want me, a little? And not just for this week?’
Alex grinned again and, with some difficulty, lifted herself onto her knees so she could lean towards him. The sight of her rising from the water, wet hair clinging to her curves and the candlelight iridescent on her skin like glistening mermaid’s scales sent a jolt of desire through Magnús’s core like a bolt of lightning. This was a vision he would never forget for the rest of his life.
Leaning over him so she could reach his lips, Alex said, still smiling, ‘I want you.’
When she covered his mouth with hers, Magnús’s entire nervous system responded in a wave of wanting, and he pulled her wet body down onto his, water sloshing onto the floor, Alex sighing against his lips, kissing him deeply until she suddenly pulled away, awkwardly disentangling herself. There seemed to be knees and elbows and hard surfaces everywhere.
‘You can’t be comfy in this little tub,’ she said.
‘Nei, and the water’s going cold,’ Magnús agreed, and they were out of the bath somehow and wrapped in the same towel in seconds, kissing against the bathroom door, then kissing all the way down the spiral steps, neither of them using their eyes to find their way, until they made it back to the heat of the fireside again.
This time, their feelings were all on the surface. No secrets or silences held them back. They had one more week together. This was their time – to hell with the storm. They were going to extract every last breathless, desirous second of pleasure and comfort from it.
