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Chapter 14
Savvy
5 months later…
Whose stupid ass idea was it to plan a wedding during fall semester while Jag is working his ass off to get Phase 1 of their new development complete? Jag’s stupid ass idea. I knew we should’ve just gone on over to one of those states and gotten married but noooo all that ‘we gotta have trust Savvy and I don’t want you to miss out on having the wedding of your dreams’ made me go against my better judgement. Now I am standing in the front of the beautiful venue Jag and his brothers built I’m trying not to have a meltdown, but I am freaking out.
My fears are replaying on a loop in my head, and I am on the verge of getting the hell out of dodge. All I can think of is, maybe we rushed this, we haven’t known each other a full year, I’m too old to be changing things up now and having to consider a man and his feelings, yeah, I have been considering them and we already move like a husband and wife but we’re not and at any time I can walk away, you can’t walk away from a marriage.
I came to the venue early to walk through it and have some alone time before all the festivities begin. But maybe that wasn’t such a good idea because all my insecurities are bombarding me relentlessly. As I sit on one of the front seats, I hear a noise behind me, and I know who it is without turning around.
“I came early to be alone, Skai,” I say.
“I know mommy, but I also know you are probably trying talk yourself out of this wedding,” she says.
“You don’t know me little girl.” I tell her
Skai smiles at me and says, “yes I do.”
She takes a seat next to me and takes my hand in hers.
“Ma, I watched you be miserable with my dad and you finally got the courage to walk away and for years after you worked your butt off to get your master’s degree, get another job and move to Mississippi. But I have also watched you let the dream of being married to a worthy man die slowly while you watched your friends and family get married all around you. I know you are happy, and your life is complete and happy for the most part and you don’t need a man, and I know it hurt you to see everyone around you get what you had been hoping and praying for. But God waited before he sent your husband to you because he truly outdid himself with Jag. He loves you; mom and you love him. It’s there for anyone to see in the way he talks to you and touches you and especially looks at you, don’t let doubt and fear rob you of the joy you should be feeling today.”
I look at my daughter with tears in my eyes because she hit every nail on the head with how I was feeling.
“Did Jag send you?” I ask.
She smiles at me with tears in her eyes and says, “I know you. Mom. I knew you’d be doubting yourself.”
“Well let's go, we have a long night ahead of us.”
And it was a long night just like I knew it would be, we started at the spa where we got massages, nails and feet done and hair and makeup. All of our outfits were sent to the venue they built it to make things easier since we decided to have our wedding on New Year’s Eve, we did not want to have to worry about timing or going over on time or anything else like that.
So, we are starting off with our rehearsal dinner, our wedding ceremony at twenty minutes to midnight so we can say I do at midnight and then have our reception after to celebrate the New Year and our new life as husband and wife. So that means three outfit changes - a photographer and a videographer for the entire night, caterers and DJs with a live band. The hair stylist and makeup artists will be with us all night to make sure all the women look their best. Our colors are cream, gold, chocolate and black. My dress for the rehearsal dinner is gold see through illusion that covers everything but looks like I am showing everything at the same time.
Jag has on a gold and black paisley dinner jacket with a black shirt, pants and shoes. He has not seen any of my dresses, I told the photographer to make sure to get his reactions tonight. When he sees me, his reaction is priceless and so is mine cause he looks damn good. His hair is down and flowing, his beard and mustache is freshly trimmed, and he is wearing the hell out of that suit. The photographers are all over the place catching everything and the dinner was amazing. I look over to Skai and she just smiles and leans over to tell me to enjoy your moments mommy, and I am. After the dinner we have a break, some music and more photos. Finally, the time has come to get into my wedding dress, it's a chocolate and gold three-piece wedding dress, the skirt is separate from the top and I am wearing a Korowai cloak a traditional Maori cloak. Jag is wearing a chocolate and gold version of the outfit he wore at the rehearsal dinner and he is also wearing a Korowai cloak.
My father is marrying us, and my sons are going to walk me down the aisle. I am at the door and I have a surprise for Jag. I hear the beginning of the song I chose to walk down the aisle to, the doors open, and I begin singing Jagged Edge’s Gotta Be as I walk down the aisle with my sons to my future. As I get closer, I could swear I see tears in his eyes, and I look the other way cause that is the only way I’d be able to make it through this song.
I finally get to the altar and greet Jag with the traditional Maori greeting when I would move away, he pulls me to him and holds me to his body, and I flash back to that night at the beach house when I barely knew him, and he held me the same way. I put my hands on his chest just like I did that night and look into his eyes as my father began the ceremony. It was beautiful standing there with Jag under a starry sky, the venue lit with just candles, with me in his arms. When it’s time for our vows we of course decided to write our own, usually the man says his vows first, but I wanted to say mine first.
“Joshua, my Jag you came into my life when I thought I was in my winter season and you should me that my winter season was coming to an end and I was coming into my Spring season. Your love has brought warmth, and renewal, you have awakened long ago dead dreams and desires I thought long ago dead. What I thought I knew as love was a poor rendition of what you have shown me what love truly is. I promise to be your wife and best friend, your confidant, and your peace. To help your dreams come true, to fight by your side, to pray for you, take care of you, comprehend you, your heart, and your love. I promise to grow with you, prosper with you, go on adventures, travel the world, be safe with you and trust in you and our love, from the time I knew I loved you until the world stops spinning and beyond.”
I am in tears by the time I finish, and I am glad the makeup artist used waterproof, smudge proof makeup because if not I am sure I’d be looking like rocky raccoon right now.
Joshua
“Savannah, my Savvy, I am so blessed to have been at the right place at the right time to have you literally run into the greatest and rarest gift God has ever given me. You created a desire in me I never knew I wanted, to be a husband and a father but I can’t imagine being either for anyone else. I am excited to start this new journey with you by my side. I promise to be your husband and best friend, your confidant, and your peace. To help your dreams come true, to fight by your side, to pray for you, take care of you, comprehend you, your heart, and your love. I promise to grow with you, prosper with you, go on adventures, travel the world, be safe with you and trust in you and our love. I will be your cover, I will lead you and guide you, I will protect you and provide for you, from the time I knew I loved you until the world stops spinning and beyond.”
I’m crying by the time I finish my vows and am I even the least bit ashamed? Hell no.
Her father clears his throat and continues with the ceremony and at exactly midnight her father pronounces us husband and wife. And as much as I want to devour her with a kiss, I don't kiss her with all the love I have in me and I also let her know there is more to follow. When we turn around, we jump the broom and the audience claps, and we head off to take pictures and mingle with our guests some more. After we take pictures it is time for us to change again into our final ceremony outfits.
I can’t wait to see Savvy’s last outfit. Every dress has been better than the one before. Her wedding gown was better than anything I could have imagined for her, she looked like a chocolate covered goddess. She let her hair be free like I love it and the Maori cape she wore to honor my heritage let me know she is the perfect person for me.
When I see her coming down the hall in her final outfit as my wife, it takes the strength of Solomon to not snatch her ass up and head to the compound. She still has on the top from her wedding dress but instead of the skirt she had on she has on some pants, some very nice form fitting, hip hugging pants. They are the exact replica of the skirt and she has taken the cape off. She looks ready to enjoy the night and so am I.
I am wearing a traditional tatua and maro, my hair is in a top knot with a comb and feathers adorning it. I also have traditional face paint. No shirt, no shoes. When they open the doors to the reception hall the guests give us a Te Karanga, a traditional Maori wedding call. We cross the threshold and go to our seats, as soon as we sit down my brothers and father perform a Te Powhiri, a traditional wedding song and dance. After that we enjoy the night with our friends and family. We serve hors d'oeuvre, champagne and of course Savvy’s peach lemonade.
