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What made me start killing? Why did I choose the name? How many criminals had I killed? Was it more than the media were claiming? Why did I kill them? What did I use? Did I have a favourite weapon? What was the mark I carved into them? How could I have really killed all those men on my own?
Fuck, she was relentless.
When she finally let me explain, I started from the beginning. She needed to know everything to really understand, and Ineededher to understand. I couldn’t allow her to leave the room with what she knew if she was going to say something. Even though I’d only known her a handful of days, Ireallydidn’t want to kill her.
She listened quietly to my story, reaching out to hold my hands on top of the table. She shook her head in sympathy when I told her the things that were done to me by my father, and may as well have swooned when I told her how I met Xave and Clay, and about our friendship that led to my first love.
Then it was time to tell her about the night that changed my life forever. I warned her that once she knew what happened, there was no going back, that she would be with me, or she would be dead. Her eyes widened but she didn’t run. She told me that no matter what I said, she was with me.
So I told her everything about that night and how I went insane. How Clay broke my heart and ran. How I needed to continue killing to sate the insanity. What we needed to do to keep me invisible, and how Xave helped me to hold on to my last shred of humanity. I glossed over the gruesome details. Shedefinitelydidn’t need those, but I told her everything, including how I came to be here.
Sitting at the table, holding my mug with both hands, I wait for her to say something now I’ve finished telling her my life story.
“Oh my god, Kenzi! That is like, just… so fucking much.” Her eyes are wide and her mouth is turned down, but she’s still sitting here. “Thank you,” she says with a small smile.
“What? Why are you fucking thanking me, you crazy bitch? I just told you I’m an insane person who kills people and enjoys it. You should be running for your fucking life!”
She starts laughing. I can’t do anything apart from sit and watch as she laughs so hard tears stream down her face.
“That’s rich, coming from you. The actual crazy bitch!” She exclaims as she starts laughing once again.
“What the fuck? Are you broken?”
She must see the worry in my eyes because she quiets instantly and wraps her hands around mine. “No, Kenzi. I’m not broken. I was thanking you for trusting me.”
“But then why were you laughing like that? Are you sure I didn’t break you? Because the only time I laugh like that is when my demons are riding me and I’m in the middle of having some fun with a scumbag in my playroom.”
“Ugh, Kenz. First, that is just gross. I like you and everything, but I don’t actually think I need to know the kinky shit you get up to in your bondage playroom. And secondly, I was laughing because it’s totally fucking nuts thatyouare callingmea crazy bitch. You know, all things considered,” she tells me with a giggle while I try to splutter out some type of response. “I’m joking, Kenz.” She tilts her head to the side and studies me for a few minutes. Just as I’m getting slightly uncomfortable from her scrutiny she says, “You are not what I pictured when I read about the Queen of Hell. Kenzi, you have been through so much, and mostly alone. It’s a wonder you have even a small part of your sanity intact.”
“I had Xave.”
“Yeah, but Xave’s a guy, plus he’s older and like your brother. There are certain things you can’t tell a guy, even one who helps you cover up your trail of dead bodies. You know, like normal girl stuff. guys, make-up, sex… guys.” I swear, this girl just keeps on fucking surprising me.
“It was necessary. I couldn’t risk anyone finding out what was happening before that night. I knew what happened to kids like me when we entered the system. And then after, I couldn’t risk anyone finding out who I had become. There are a lot of bad people who want me dead, Poppy. Plus, just look where trust got me with Clay. Fuck. How the fuck am I supposed to handle this shit? It’s fucking insane, even for me.”
Poppy smiles and starts to giggle. “See, this is what I mean… boy stuff!” And then she’s laughing again.
“Why are you so happy? You should be running as far away from me as possible.”
“You’re not going to hurt me, Kenzi, I know that much. You could have done it at any time since we met if you really wanted to, but you haven’t. I’m not going to claim I understand any of what’s happened to you, because I don’t. But here’s what I do know. I know that even when you didn’t want to speak to anyone, you spoke to me. Even after you found out I was the Dean’s daughter and was bullied and ostracised for it, you still wanted to hang out with me. And even though I found out your biggest, darkest secret, something men a hell of a lot more terrifying than me have died for finding out, you didn’t kill me immediately. You trusted me enough to tell me who you are.
“Kenzi, you have been alone for so long and, although I sort of understand your reasons for it, I know from experience that it’s a very lonely existence and not any way to live.” She looks down and rubs at her wrist. “I told you this morning that you were the only person to be nice to me, despite who I am, and I can do nothing but be your friend in return. You are not mean, or vicious, just because others are doing the same, and today I saw you struggle to keep a lid on Queenie so you didn’t hurt any innocent people. That is the truth of who you are, Kenzi. You are a good person that has been dealt a super shitty hand, and I am so fucking honoured that you trust me enough to be your friend.”
My throat grows tight with emotion from her declaration. I have to swallow a couple of times before I can speak. I’ve never had anyone, other than Xavier, ever say anything like this to me, and everything she’s said about my life being a lonely existence, is true.
“How do you see so much?” I ask. Before she can reply, I raise my hand and keep going. “Look, I really don’t know how to do this whole friendship thing, Poppy. As we’ve already established, I haven’t actually had a normal friend before, but I’m willing to try. I’m not going to lie, it won’t be easy being my friend, and there will be times just like today where I’ll be close to losing it completely. But I can promise you this, no matter what happens, I will keep you safe, and I will never hurt you. You bring out the same protectiveness in my demons that Xave does. Although, it will make it hard not to gut each bastard member of The Crew and drown them in their own blood for what they’ve done the next time I see them.”
“Awww. I think that might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she says with a huge smile on her face, not even flinching at the graphic way I’d like to deal with those arseholes.
“Fuck, Poppy,” I say with a laugh. “This is definitely going to be an interesting year.”
Ismile as I pull up to my destination, a large abandoned building about ten miles along a turn-off close to the petrol station. I can’t risk anyone noticing me, so I park out of the way of the other vehicles. I get off the bike and remove my helmet, scanning the area for anyone lurking about. My hair is in two French braids, so I wrap the tails up in buns and pull my mask out of the saddlebag, slipping it over my head.
I always wear a mask when I fight to protect my identity. This one is a gorgeous pink masquerade mask with purple detailing on one side, and a large pink and purple fairy wing on the other, which covers the whole side of my face. With my mask in place, I’m ready.
I went all out this evening, wearing ripped black jeans, a black top that says ‘Queen Bitch’ across the front, and my black leather jacket. All topped off with my knee high boots …I look totally badass.
I make my way into the building and enter a large open space that’s teeming with people drinking and cheering on whoever is getting in the ring to fight. Xavier sent me a picture of the guy in charge, and I spot him to my right as I take a look around. I make my way over and come to a stop right in front of him. He looks down at me with a grin.
