Page 30 of Looking for It


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Now I was extra curious, but I was waiting. “Yeah. Talk to you soon.” I didn’t dare look back as I headed inside.

As I reached my room, I turned my phone on, and woke up my laptop. My notifications and unread emails were only in the hundreds. Not nearly as bad as it could have been.

I mentally rolled my eyes at myself.

“You back?” Lyn called.

“Yeah.”

She poked her head into my room. “Some guy dropped this off for you this morning. Everything all right?”

I grabbed the stapled papers from her.Cease and Desistwas in a neat typeface across the top, next to my name and address. “It will be.” I gave her a tight smile.

“Okay. I have to get back to the shop, but holler down if you need anything.”

I scanned the C&D, and posted it online, along with a series of hashtags, including #we won’t be silenced

I couldn’t avoid the messages anymore, and I dug in. They fell into three main categories.

I’m so sorry you got scammed.

They got me too, thank you for speaking out.

And,You’re a fucking whore. Someone should rape you to death. You don’t deserve how good they tried to be to you.

Most days I loved the internet, but when the assholes came out...

I spent hours replying to the kind words, and blocking everyone who sent the cruel ones. It was early afternoon when it all weighed down my soul so much, I didn’t know if I could breathe.

I couldn’t face this onslaught this way. I recorded a quick video, thanking everyone for their support, and followed it up with a note that I would be off social media for the holidays. I’d planned on taking a break over Christmas anyway, and now seemed like a good time to put that plan into motion.

The air was too tight in here. The room too oppressive. I needed to get out of here, and clear my head.

I got in my car and drove. West seemed like a good direction today. Out past the mountains, toward the lake. Maybe beyond it. Maybe I’d go to Wendover and drop fifty bucks in the slot machines. Have a late lunch and a free drink or two.

I’d rather not be inside my own head right now. Talking to someone would help me sift through my thoughts. Anne was stuck in crunch time at work, Lyn was working the shop, and Grayson...

Well, that was the problem, wasn’t it?

He’d listened to me talk through breakups before. About whatever asshole I’d let crawl under my skin. He understood. Had his own stories to share. Was I about to become one of them? The girl who couldn’t accept a little fun when she had the chance?

I wasn’t getting anywhere with this. I cranked the radio to sing along at the top of my lungs. Belting out classic hair metal always made me feel better. As long as I skipped every single song about love and broken hearts.

A loud bang sounded over the music, and the steering wheel jerked from my hands.







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