Page 35 of Looking for It


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“I’m going to kick his ass.” Anne reached for the door.

I grabbed her other arm. “Don’t. It’s not like that.”

“Did he hurt you?”

Yes. “I think I hurt them first. I don’t... I can’t even make sense of it to put it into words.”

“That’s not like you.”

“I know, right?” I sank down in my seat. “I think I fucked up, but I’m not sure. It felt right at the time. Now it just hurts.”

Anne pulled onto the road. “At the time?”

“All of fifteen minutes ago.” I tried to laugh. “Fuck. Maybe he’s right. Maybe. I am only capable of living in the moment.”

“That’s not true. What do you need?”

“I need... to not talk about it.” It hurt too much to even think about it, and my confusion muddied everything. “How did work go?”

Anne tugged on her hair. “We pushed back the deadline. We’re not going to make it before the holiday.”

She’d put way too many hours into their latest game, fighting to make it work amid setbacks and incompetence. Having the game pushed back had to be a slap in the face to Anne’s hard work.

“I’m sorry.” I’d rather focus on her, and making her feel better. “Sounds like we both need an escape.”

The corner of Anne’s mouth tugged up. “Shopping?”

“The only place open this late is Walmart.”

“Online.” Theduhin her voice was playful.

I liked that. “For board games?”

“Craft supplies.”

Inspiration sparked in my head. Perfect distraction. “Craft supplies to make board games.”

“Who has to come up with the rules?” Anne’s voice was lighter.

“Every game will be different. We’ll make the rules up... as we go.” And now Jax’s words were back, both back then and now. Taunting me for being awkward, impulsive, and not caring how my decisions impacted people.

Anne glanced at me. “Lord of the Rings marathon.”

Thank God for intuitive friends. “Don’t you have to work in the morning?”

“We get the weekend off.”

First time in two months. That had to feel good and frustrating at the same time. “Extended edition it is.”

Anne’s place was a small house near downtown. A single floor, with two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. The brick exterior was deceptive of what was inside.

She’d converted one of the rooms into a theater-slash-gaming room. Chase, Anne, and I had spent a weekend soundproofing the place after she bought it, so she could turn up the bass without bothering the neighbors.

We settled into two recliners, a bowl of popcorn between us, and startedFellowship.

Anne was asleep before they reached Rivendell. It was good to see her getting some rest.

I wouldn’t be anytime soon. I turned down the volume, but left the movie playing while I made myself some coffee. We’d both seen it so many times that it didn’t matter what we missed.

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