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Fourteen
Phillip
With Dustin and Adrienne gone, my house was empty. The way it should be. The way it had been for years. The way I wanted it, because it was saf—
I cut the thought off before it could finish forming. Sundays were tinkering and housework days. I had people to take care of the lawn and landscaping, but I left the rest for me, to give me something to do with my time.
The pool could probably use cleaning. A glance through the patio doors and I saw afterimages of last night, sitting by the water with Dustin and Adrienne, the mood saying as much as our words.
I used to see ghosts of Jodie out there. How many years had it taken me before I could use the pool again? Leaving it empty, avoiding it at first because the past hurt too much, and then because the habit was there.
It didn’t seem right that the first time I cleaned and filled it in years was shortly after Dustin said you have a pool? Wicked.
The overlapping memories gnawed at me, and I turned away.
Wandering through the living room brought back more of last night. Not just the sex, though… the last time I’d been with more than one person at once was before I got married.
I raked my fingers through my hair, yanking and trying to physically extract the memories. Since that wasn’t practical, I needed to do something else. I grabbed my phone and called Cole.
No answer. Right. Adrienne said something about them going off the grid. I didn’t want to leave a startling message, but I needed to convey the point. “Hey, it’s Phillip. Long time, no talk. I understand you know Adrienne. When you get back, you need to hook her up with a doorbell cam. She’s fine, just a precaution.”
That was disturbingly fragmented and weird, but it would have to do. Now she was taken care of, and I could stop worrying about her.
Because losing her would hurt too much.
The thought punched me in the gut and knocked the wind from me. That wasn’t right. I barely knew her.
But that was a lie too. I hadn’t known her for long, but I knew she wasn’t anything like Jodie, the way I originally thought. I knew she was honest, talented, and sexy.
But I also knew I was leaving her behind. Her. Dustin. That wasn’t the same as losing someone. I was choosing to follow a different career path. One where I could be teaching more. Helping people like Adrienne—
Really, I’d never met anyone like Adrienne.
And that wasn’t helping.
I headed into basement, where I was painting one wall of what used to be the family room with a large mural of whatever struck my fancy. Used to be because I didn’t do family anymore. I didn’t do attachments. It might work for other people, but it wasn’t the risk to me.
It hurt too much to lose the love of my life once. I couldn’t do it again.
The admission squeezed the breath from my lungs, and I slid to the floor, back against the cold concrete wall.
I didn’t like that thought, not at all.
Leaving now, before things got worse was definitely the right thing to do.
