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“It’s okay. I made my own decisions, these are the consequences. I’m a big boy.”
“Yeah you are.” I winced as the teasing slipped out. “I shouldn’t have said that.” Did I need to monitor everything that came out of my mouth now?
“That’s okay, too,” Colin said. “I’ve been holding this inside for so long, it made me resent him. Our relationship means exactly what he said it did. Exactly what you said.”
But did it? His words sliced through me. I desperately wanted to sayI was wrong, and tell him it meant more.Hemeant more. I looked up to find Alana watching from across the room. “I’m sorry,” I said again.
“Me too. I’ll see Alana at practice?”
I nodded. He couldn’t see me. “You will. Talk to you then.” I hung up before either of us could say something I didn’t know how to deal with.
I spent the rest of the day bouncing between waiting for Kandace to get back to me, looking for new work, and trying not to act like a lovesick teenager by staring at Colin’s email in my inbox
It had a lawyer’s name and saidgood luck. It wasn’t even as though he’d sent me something worth swooning over. Tanner called me, and I let it go to voicemail. He sent a follow-up text that saidtalk to me. Please.
I wanted to. The simple request left an ache in my chest. Instead, I replied withlet me know if it’s an emergency. Otherwise, Alana will see you at practice.
When my phone buzzed almost immediately after with another text, I wasn’t sure if I was happy or irritated with Tanner’s persistence. But it was from Kandace, asking me to give her just one more day.
I told herfine.Not that my brain would be happy with another day like today. I had to at least start sending resumes out, or I’d go nuts.
Tuesday morning, I woke up to a quiet house. Super quiet. Too quiet. I jolted out of bed with a start, and stalked toward the girls’ rooms. Both empty, with their beds made. What the fuck? Whispers drifted up from downstairs and relief trickled in at the familiar voices.
I padded down to the living room to find Alana and Harmony watching Beauty and the Beast with the sound off, and eating cereal. Not completely unheard of, but not normal, either.
“Hi, Mom.” Alana seemed completely back to herself. “You don’t have to worry about breakfast or dishes. I’m taking care of it.”
Maybe not quite herself. I’d ask what she wanted or what she was up to, but I didn’t want to ruin the mood. I didn’t usually allow them to eat breakfast in front of the TV, but they were behaving.
Alana whispered something to her sister, and Harmony set her bowl on the coffee table and ran up to me.
“Mommy, I want to swim like Alana does.”
That was new. Harmony liked to play in the water, but she’d never shown any interest in more. I looked past her to Alana, who wasn’t watching us, but who was sitting very still, her head half-turned in our direction.
What was she up to?
“Do you want to compete the way Alana does? Or do you just want lessons?”
Harmony glanced over her shoulder then back at me. “Lessons?”
Alana huffed, set her bowl next to Harmony’s, and joined us. “She told me earlier that she wanted Colin to teach her to swim.”
Now I knew what Alana was up to, but still wasn’t sure why. I crouched so I was eye-level with Harmony. “Do you want that, or did your sister tell you to ask for that?”
“I want that.” Harmony nodded. She sounded much more certain this time. Alana was a decent manipulator, but Harmony wasn’t a great liar.
“Okay. We’ll talk to him this afternoon when we take Alana to practice.”
“You could call him now,” Alana said.
Was she looking for assurance that she wouldn’t have to give up swimming? I still didn’t understand. “It’s early. This afternoon will be fine.”
Harmony cheered and Alana scowled.
I needed coffee before I could dig deeper into her motivations, but I was happy she was talking to me again. Fortunately making coffee took minimal brain power, and within a few minutes, the machine was hissing and steaming and the incredible smell of consciousness was drifting my way.
Coffee in hand, I made myself comfortable at the kitchen table. This was life back to normal. Or, it would be once I was working again. The girls would start school in a few weeks, we’d be back to hectic schedules and meals when we had time.
