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“But you’re together.” They had to be. They were so close.
“No. Rather, we’re friends, but we’re not more.”
I didn’t get this at all, but I wanted to. “That means, when there’s sex, there’s emotional attachment, because you’re friends. How do you keep the line from blurring? I don’t want to be the woman who throws all reason to the wind because a guy is a good kisser.” I was really baring my soul today. How did Deacon bring that out in me?
“If you don’t want that, don’t be that woman.”
I gave him a withering look. “Like it’s that simple.”
Deacon huffed a sigh. “I realize it’s not, but the theory is solid. What I’m going to tell you next will sound deceptively simple but complex at the same time. If you don’t want to confuse an emotional relationship with a physical one, look at the two separately.”
“This was a mistake.” I was an idiot for thinking I could talk to him about this.
When I stood to leave, he grabbed my wrist and a fresh shock of heat spilled through me.
“I’m not done.” His voice was as firm as his grip, and he stood to look me in the eye.
I swallowed past my suddenly dry throat. “Okay…?”
“What you and I are doing right now—is it romantic?”
Was it? I knew better. It was turning me on more than I expected, though. “No.”
Deacon rested a hand on my cheek, scorching my skin. “Focus on my touch.” His voice was low and even, sliding over me like satin. “Don’t think about what your heart is saying but pay attention to how your body feels.”
“Okay.” Like I had a choice but to listen to my body. My racing heart. The anticipation coiled in my belly. The way my breath wanted to tear from my chest in short pants. “I think I get it.” My voice wavered.
One corner of his mouth tugged up. “You sure?”
Not even close. If he hadn’t led with the wholedon’t think about your heart, I’d be tumbling into a myriad of questions about whether this meant anything. That didn’t mean I wanted him to stop. “I might need a little more explanation and practice.”
“As you wish.” Deacon brushed his lips lightly over mine, and the rest of the world fell away. He glided his mouth along my jaw, up to my ear. “See? Just the physical.” His hot breath teased my skin with the whisper.
I wanted to whimper. This was just a kiss. It didn’t mean more. I repeated the words in my head while the faint tingle of his lips lingered everywhere he’d kissed. “I think I get it.” In theory, I did. In practice, maybe not, because I wanted him to keep going.
“You’re sure?” Deacon pulled back to search my face, but didn’t drop his hand. “You don’t want more practice?”
I so very much did. “Like what?” My question came out breathy.
“You want to be prepared for anything dating throws your way. If the opportunity comes up, you want to seize it, don’t you?”
As opposed to holding back out of terror or lack of experience? “Yes.” I wasn’t going to become someone else when it came to certain behaviors, but I’d hate to miss out on a great guy because sex terrified me.
“In that case…” Deacon trailed a finger down the middle of my chest, stopping to tug on my waistband and pull me closer. “How about a full-on, hands-on lesson?”
“Yes, please.” I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
Deacon’s deep chuckle told me it was the right answer. He nipped at my earlobe and kissed along the shell of my ear. “You just have to remember two things,” he whispered. “This is about the physical, not about love. And if you’re not enjoying it, you tell me to stop. Can you do that?”
I nodded, unable to find my voice.
He dragged his thumb over my bottom lip. “Good girl.”
I practically melted into a puddle at his feet.
Deacon dropped his hands to my hips and guided me backwards until my calves hit something. He lowered me onto one of the fainting couches and sat facing me.
We were still in his basement. The shop was probably closed by now, but Adam was likely around.
