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I stared at Adam as he talked. Where the fuck did this come from, and why did his words dig deep?
“She’s not a toy,” Adam said. “You don’t get to play with her when you want and put her on the shelf out of reach of anyone else when you’re done. She’s a fucking human being. One I’d like to get to know alotbetter. That’s all there is to it.”
Any response I had stalled in the tight space in my lungs where an invisible fist had squeezed out all the air. What was I supposed to say to that, and why was I so furious at what sounded like reasonable logic?
TWENTY-ONE
BROOKE
The twins stayedin their rooms most of Sunday, and when they did emerge they managed to avoid each other and me.
Because I was going stir crazy and it was clear neither of them were going to cook, in the late afternoon I grabbed the cane Deacon had given me and used it to hobble around the kitchen. I suspected he and Adam would have a fit if they knew, but they weren’t here.
The thought ached in my chest and my brain shouted back that I shouldn’t care.
But I did. I missed their company. I missed what had been happening with Adam.
I shouldn’t be missing the same from Deacon, but I did. Not that anything had been happening there.
I needed to not think about him. Instead, I made the twins’ favorite—boxed mac and cheese mixed with a can of tortilla soup and crumbled up corn chips on top. It may not be gourmet, but it was easy and hopefully it would lure them out of their rooms.
Paige came down for dinner, but Bryan refused to.
She filled up her plate without a word and shoveled food into her mouth.
“You’re both worrying me. You know that, don’t you? Don’t make me play the Mom Guilt Trip card.” I ate more slowly.
She huffed and let her fork clatter to the table. “Please don’t. I already have enough guilt for a lifetime.”
That was a heavy burden to carry at seventeen. “Maybe telling me what happened will help with that?”
“I doubt it.” She sighed heavily. “Bryan is upset with me because…” She huffed, and shoved more food into her mouth.
“Because why?” I kept my tone gentle. It was hard to imagine Paige doing anything to make her brother this mad.
“Because I guess he likes Jamie and he was going to tell her at the dance but apparently she likes me instead.”
Oh.I was going to assumelikemeant more in both cases. Should I have been prepared for my kids’ first huge fight to be over a shared love interest? “Okay.” I voice my tone free of judgment.
“She kissed me, Mom. She fucking kissed me, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it.” Paige sounded distraught.
“Do you like her?”
“She’s my best friend, of course I do. But I like guys.”
My experience with this was limited to when Colin came out, and that was decades ago, and he’d seemed so certain when he made the announcement. Did he deal with this kind of doubt before then? Not that it mattered now. I needed to reassure Paige and I didn’t know how. “Can you tell her that?”
“But I liked the kiss.”
Whatever I said next, I was going to fail. I just knew it. “Maybe you like girls too. Your uncle Colin—”
“This isn’t about him. You don’t understand.” She pushed back from the table so hard her chair screeched against the tile, and she stomped from the room. “And don’t you dare ask him to talk to me.” Her screech from upstairs was laced with tears.
Damn it.
* * *
Monday morning Bryanleft for school early with a friend, and Paige slunk out of the house soon after, refusing to talk to or even look at me.
