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“Don’t—”
I was cut off by him softly closing my bedroom door.
Brooke pressed into me again. “Final lesson learned,” she muttered so quietly I didn’t know if I was meant to hear it.
I pressed my lips to her forehead and tried not to drown in frustration.
TWENTY-SIX
DEACON
In the morning,Adam’s bedroom door was open, and he and Brooke were nowhere to be found.
Fine. Perfect. I got quiet time.
Then again, I’d had plenty of that last night, and all the way up until about five this morning when I finally drifted to sleep from exhaustion.
And none of the tossing and turning in bed had helped me figure out why I was so upset that I’d made the right decision, walking away after sex.
Their life wasn’t mine. And Adam and Brooke really did look happy together.
What if I could be happy too?
I was happy, and the life in front of them wasn’t my path to walk. It was dangerous to entertain dreams of a family, because it would hurt so badly when it didn’t happen. Sure, what I was feeling now sucked and I couldn’t define the feeling or why, but it was better than the pain I’d feel if I let myself believe I could have more.
It wasn’t like I was going to wake up one morning and have the happy, traditional family I used to fantasize about.
It was best I stop sleeping with both Brooke and Adam now. Sure things would be tense for a little while, but then we could go back to the way things were. I didn’t want to lose their friendship. That meant far more to me than getting laid sometimes.
And that went for both of them. I couldn’t imagine Brooke would be okay with me having a friends-with-benefits relationship with her boyfriend.
I grabbed my coffee and headed down to the shop. While I was deciding where to start, since the shop was closed today, Adam came back. Time to be civil and friendly and start the path towardwe can still be friends.
“Hey,” I called cheerfully.
He didn’t pause near the counter, heading toward the back instead. “Hey.” He disappeared through the door that led upstairs.
Okay.
I got back to work.
A moment later Adam returned with his camera and laptop bags slung over his shoulder. “I’m heading to Aubrey’s to film.” He practically bounced rather than standing still.
Aubrey. Right. Someone else I’d fucked up my friendship with. “Tell her I saidhi.”
Adam gave me a look I didn’t understand. “Or tell her yourself and make things right while you’re there.”
“I tried that already.”
Adam sighed. “Yeah. All right. I’ll be back.”
“What was that?” I didn’t know how to interpret his tone.
“A sigh.”
Great. I was trying to be friendly and he was being defensive. “Why?”
“You don’t want to know.” Adam adjusted the straps on his shoulder, but didn’t turn away.
