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The sound of the door sliding open behind me was a welcome distraction. I knew before he sat down that it would be Nigel. Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t disrupt the silence by joining me, or that the one thing I recognized in him was a haunted look that we shared.
He settled into the other seat without a word. He’d been smarter than me about his clothes, pulling back on khaki pants and a button-down shirt, plus socks. His outfit clashed with the tattoos hidden underneath, and his long hair, but he probably liked sending mixed signals and making people wonder who they were really dealing with.
Neither of us spoke through a round of sirens and a distant train horn.
The solitude was nice, but having him here pushed questions to my lips that wanted answers. “Now that I’ve had my tongue down your throat, are we close enough for me to ask you something personal?”
Nigel snorted softly. “Depends on the question. Not even sticking your dick in me implies closeness.”
“Touché.”
“What do you want to know?”
Probably the one thing he got asked more than anything else. I expected a cut and dried answer. “What was it like growing up in the circus?”
“You assume I didn’t make that up.”
“You strike me as the kind of guy who gets far more satisfaction out of the shock value of the truth, rather than a story.”
Nigel’s chuckle was dry. “Circus. Right. They were my family, and none of us ever had to pretend we weren’t weird, because that was what we got paid for. I loved them.”
Not the answer I expected, but I heard a current in there that was familiar. That tug of loss that matched what I felt when I thought about my grandmother. “But you left.”
“My stepfather wasn’t family.” Nigel’s tone went chillier than the breeze that wicked around us. “The only things he ever gave me were the ability to throw the knives—he thought it might manly the gay out of me—and a few scars.”
“Yeah. I get that.” I could dig deeper, ask some more questions, but I didn’t expect he’d answer. I knew I wasn’t interested in sharing information like that.
Silence settled in again.
I wasn’t here to be Nigel’s best bud, and he probably felt the same about me, but I was content to sit and not say anything until one or both of us hit that point where we thought we could sleep.
As if by some unspoken agreement, we both rose a short while later, and headed back inside. According to the clock on Megan’s nightstand, it was after one in the morning.
Sleep still didn’t come, but with her wrapped in my arms I could pretend something was right in the world.
17
megan
“Ihave to get to work.” Nigel’s murmured words and his lips on my cheek woke me up. “Landon will make sure you have lots of fun, and I’ll see you both tonight.”
Had I ever felt so warm and safe first thing in the morning? I wasn’t sure. Twisting my head with a smile, I kissed him quickly. “See you tonight.”
Landon had already showered, and was waiting for me with coffee. I felt spoiled, like it was my birthday or something. There was a sliver of guilt that came with liking the attention. I was asking too much of these men. Not doing enough in return.
The point was to go throughmylist, but that didn’t erase the nagging inside that I shouldn’t be pushing them for this kind of attention.
I got ready, and we stopped by Landon’s place long enough for him to get fresh clothes.
“I’m curious,” he said as we headed toward the canyons. “You havespend the night in a creepy houseon your list.”
That wasn’t a question, and I didn’t know how to answer. “Okay?”
“Creepynothaunted.You’re not a believer?”
I didn’t know. It’d be cool if there were ghosts. Creepy, but neat. “I probably fall somewhere between Mulder and Scully. I want to believe. Besides, as a teenager I had a not-so-secret desire to find myself a sexy vampire.”
Landon glanced at me. “Lestat?”
