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“You know how it works. Stick to the side paths, and you’ll be fine.” Arnie waved us through.
I waved over my shoulder as we headed up the winding path.
“It’s private property.” I took the first right, though it looked like there was nothing there until we were right on top of it. I’d done a little contract work up here, guarding when they were down a man. “But the guy has only been up here a few times. He’s not ready to build on it, but he did want to make sure the rest of the world didn’t get to it.”
Megan looked left and right and all around, awe and a slight frown on her face. “So he blocked off this beautiful stretch from the world because he could, and hired armed guards to make sure it stayed that way?”
“Basically. They’re only supposed to let staff in, but I served with a couple of the guys, and there’s this amazing view at the top that I want you to see.”
We drove in silence, while I used my focus to keep us on the barely-there path, until we got to the hilltop. There was a little three-person guard tower sitting above it all. They really only used it in winter, when the snow tended to cover the fences and they needed to keep an eye out for backcountry skiers.
There was still snow up here, but it wasn’t more than a few feet deep in most places.
We climbed the ladder up to the top of the tower.
“That’ll keep you warm,” Megan joked as we stepped into the room. “And help cure a fear of heights.”
“That it will.” I pressed in behind her. “What do you think?”
“Wow.”
I had to agree. The clearing around us meant we could see above the tops of most of the trees, and it was like looking over an entirely new terrain, possibly on an alien world.
Megan shivered and rubbed her arms through her jacket. “The heat wears off quickly.”
I wrapped my arms around her arms and hooked my hands in front of her, pulling her into my front. “Better?”
“Much.” She leaned her weight into me.
We turned together, taking in the entire landscape. Heroohsandaahsof fascination were captivating. I could stay up here like this for hours.
“You can’t hear the freeway up here,” she said softly.
“Nope.”
“No matter where you go in the valley, you can hear road noise. Even up in the hot air balloon, I saw cars on the roads. Proof of life. Up here, I can pretend we’re the only people in the world.”
I was surprised to hear her say that as if she liked the thought. “Doesn’t the idea terrify you?”
“No?” Megan pulled my arms tighter. “It would make me sad. I’d miss my friends. My family. Nigel. But I’ve never been somewhere before that there’s just… nothing. Especially knowing we’re not far from a city. It’s amazing. How about you? Does the idea of the two of us being the last people in the world terrify you?”
She’d be far better company than doing it by myself. “I spend a lot of time being lonely. There would be a comfort in the inside of my head matching the outside.” I didn’t mean to say that. Way to bring the mood down, me.
“Okay.” Megan’s reply was matter-of-fact, and came easily.
How was I supposed to deal with that answer? “Okay?”
“Nigel is the same way. Not that he’s ever said, but I catch glimpses. I don’t know how to fix it, and I can’t say I understand, but it’s not my place to tell you to not feel something. Your emotions are yours, so I accept that you have them.Okay.”
Her words might not mean much to her, or they might, but I doubted she understood how much her sincerity and acceptance were worth. The sentiment pinged in my chest and spread through me with an unfamiliar longing.
When I had to walk away at the end of all of this, away from the random fun and the life that wasn’t mine and this woman who loved someone else but captivated me every time I was around her…
When I had to do that, on a scale of one to ten, how fucked was I?
At least a fifteen.
The sun started creeping above our heads, and we decided it was time to head back to Megan’s. The drive was pretty and the conversation great, as it had been all morning.
